Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1047665
24 maltatoday | SUNDAY • 4 NOVEMBER 2018 OPINION I never thought I'd be the one to have to say this, but… seri- ously, guys: you're all watching way too many films. I mean, what the hell is even going on? I leave my computer for literally a few seconds to make a coffee… and when I come back, it's as though everything's suddenly morphed into a dystopian sci-fi frig- ging nightmare. Just yesterday we were talking about all the usual, commonplace things we normally like to 'discuss' in this country – corruption, the state of the roads, X-Factor, the marital life of politicians, scandals involving sex, drugs and… um… sadly, no rock and roll (come to think of it: we never really talk about rock and roll here, do we? Explains a lot…) – and the next thing you know, the news is suddenly all about facial-recognition cam- eras, granting rights (including citizenship) to robots, and how Marsa has become 'the Planet of the Apes' (!). What's it going to be next, folks? Genetically-engineered dinosaurs? (Hang on… wouldn't want to give Charles Polidano any ideas, now would we?) Aliens suddenly bursting out of people's rib-cages? Com- puters 'terminating' their users, because they feel they're 'too important to be shut down'? This is the thing with sci- ence fiction, you know. Under normal circumstances, I would be the last to warn against 'watching too many films'. (In my book, there is no such thing as 'too many films' anyway). But if you're going to watch sci-fi – or horror, for the two genres are closely inter-related – the least you could do is try and take the general message on board. How many times do entire crews of intergalactic spaceships have to get wiped out by supercomputers like Hal 9000, before we all understand that placing our entire fate in the hands of technology is just not… a good… idea? And how many mad scientists have to come to tragic ends, before we finally get it into our heads that 're-animating that corpse' (or 'stepping into that teleporter', or 'imbibing that bubbly, multi- coloured concoction in that test-tube' might have unfore- seen – and particularly gory – consequences for all humanity? But I fear it's far too late for any of that now. You watched the films, you didn't heed the warnings… and here we go again, like every crappy sequel to every blockbuster disas- ter movie ever made. Only this time, it's not directed by Roland Emmerich. This time, it all feels disturbingly real… Let's stick to the robots for the time being. According to the news this morning (and as far as I know, there's no such thing as 'November Fools Day') "… robots with artificial intel- ligence could soon be able to apply for Maltese citizenship after the government unveiled plans for a pilot project that will look to create a test for de- termining whether robots are able to understand their legal rights [and] responsibilities as citizens." Unless it's some kind of elab- orate practical joke – and if so, kudos to them: they really got me there – my only reaction to that is: What? Are you guys nuts?! That is precisely how it always begins: just add a little creepy background music, and the above quote could be the intro to any number of sci-fi/ horror classics, all of which end in untold death and disaster (before Bruce Willis comes to save the day, of course). It echoes the basic plot of at least two classic 'Doctor Who' series: 'Genesis of the Daleks', and 'The Robots of Death'. (Here, let me repeat that last one so it sinks in: 'The Robots of… DEATH!') And here we all are, noncha- lantly discussing the possibility like it wasn't an impending, 'extinction-level event' disaster Raphael Vassallo Planet of the robotic citizen apes The Lands Authority notifies tenants of government-owned garages and emphyteutaes who were granted government owned sites for the building of garages, in various Housing Estates around Malta and Gozo, that they may apply to purchase the said garages, or the Directum Dominium of the land held by them on emphyteutical terms. SALES OF GOVERNMENTOWNED GARAGES For further information on how to apply kindly visit the following webpage: landsauthority.org.mt/resources/garage-scheme Legal Notice L.N. 165 dated 25th May 2018 Lands Authority St. Sebastian Street, Valletta of the kind that sci-fi authors and screenwriters have been warning us about for over a century…. Well, all right then. By all means, let's give citizenship rights to intelligent robots. (Just don't come crying to me afterwards, that's all). But let us also ponder a few of the possible consequences while we're at it. One such outcome is sug- gested in the above quote itself: 'a test for determining whether robots are able to understand their legal rights [and] responsibilities as citi- zens'. We already know some of the things that 'robots' – in the broader sense of the word – are capable of. They are used in factories to assemble cars and trucks, for instance (and super-tankers, and Space Shuttles, and nuclear war- heads, etc). Robotic arms can effortlessly lift the heaviest of weights, and are subtle and dexterous enough to handle the tiniest of screws and me- chanical gadgets. Even without artificial intelligence, I reckon they'd still make pretty power- ful, potentially dangerous things in the wrong hands… On the other side of the spec- trum, you have 'robots' (com- puters, actually) like 'Deep Blue', which are famously capable of beating even people like Kasparov at chess. Because that's what all those sci-fi movies were trying to warn us all along: robots are stronger, more powerful and a heck of a lot cleverer than most of us humans out here (if not all of us humans put together). And unless we can also program things like 'empathy' and 'emo- tional intelligence' into their circuits… … ooh, that reminds me of the plot of another sci-fi film. What was it again? Ah yes: 'The Matrix' (Remember? The one where the entire hu- man race – except Laurence Fishburne and Keanu Reeves – ends up existing only to 'feed' a superior race of robotic octopi?) Well, who's to say that it will be human beings to do all the programming (and construction) of other robots in future? If we're already creating robots that are highly intelligent, and experienced in the assembly and manufacture of complex mechanical de- vices… what's to stop a future intelligent robot from creating and programming its own line of robotic offspring? What if – just like every 'creation'- based work of fiction, from 'Frankenstein' onward – it