Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1130632
25 OPINION maltatoday | SUNDAY • 16 JUNE 2019 become part of the entire machinery that was just lying to her … She also hated herself – in her mind – for being unattrac- tive (which she wasn't, at all). And, it later turned out, for a host of other reasons, too. She felt unwanted and abandoned by her parents. She hated all the other students. She hated the world and everything in it, etc. It was, at that moment, my responsibility to address all of that. I was 23, and all I had to do it with was an A-level in English. It remains a deep profes- sional regret, to this day, that I made a complete and utter mess of it. Everything I said seemed to backfire instantane- ously. I tried telling her she was much more attractive than she knew, in other ways – and though it wasn't a lie – honest, it wasn't – she just waved it aside with a mock-yawn. I told her she was intelli- gent… and I truly meant it. She said something like: "I know. That's the problem, right there". It was like that all the way. She checkmated me at every turn. At one point, out of the blue, she told me she sometimes felt serious suicidal impulses. That she had harmed herself in the past. She said it quite matter- of-factly: like she might have been testing me, or taunting me. Looking back, she might even have been 'threatening' me. But I took her at her word. I told her directly I thought she needed professional help. Urgently. She shrugged and said, 'Want to know how many shrinks I've been to since the age of eight?' And there was nothing – absolutely nothing – I could possibly reply to that. The only thing I could think of was to later take the princi- pal aside and tell her that this was, in my view, a very serious case that warranted medical intervention. I never found out if she got it in the end, because she left shortly afterwards. There was no noticeable dif- ference in her behaviour after that… though she did at least cut me a little slack, from time to time. Then again, I still don't know, to this day, if she survived in the long run. OK, there are many reasons why I brought all that up. Most are personal. There are things in life you sometimes feel the need to exorcise. But another reason is that both incidents reminded me that being a 'teacher' is a very serious matter indeed. I may have (modestly speaking) 'helped' in the first instance… but I ran a serious risk of dra- matically worsening the situ- ation in the second. That girl really was in mortal danger. Of that, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever. And while I may perhaps have given the wrong impres- sion by using my own experi- ence as a 'teacher' back in the 1990s – presenting myself as the 'antithesis' of Erin Tanti – well, this is the truly hard part: my own case could easily have turned out only marginally dif- ferent from his. I will, of course, defend my intentions. I really did want to help that girl, at that moment. But the outcome of my clumsy, unprofessional attempt to deal with a potentially life-threat- ening situation could have been just as catastrophic. What if she really had com- mitted suicide, back then on that Malta 'summer holiday'… shortly after we had that 'chat'? What would my own culpabil- ity have been then, as an unli- censed (albeit legal) 'teacher', who tried to play 'shrink' to a seriously disturbed individual? That was the first thought that came to my head when I read about Lisa Marie Zahra's fate five years ago. I found myself earnestly wishing – for my own sake, as much as for hers – that the other troubled teenager I once briefly knew really did make it in the end. Another reason I bring it up now is because… if that's the extent of my own limited ex- perience, I shudder to even im- agine what real, qualified and experienced teachers come face to face with, in and out of the classroom, all the time. Given the sheer extent of our collective exposure to teachers, between the age of three or four, all the way to at least 18, and beyond… I find it strange that people don't seem to fully appreciate the enormity of the influence of this profession has on pretty much everyone and everything. People will always remember the teacher who encouraged them, who made them think highly of themselves… just as they will never forget those teachers who mocked them, humiliated them, and made them feel worthless. And yes, sometimes teach- ers do murder their students. Sometimes literally; but more often metaphorically. There is, and can be, no such a thing as an education system that banishes even the possibility of that ever happening. But there can be no doubt that teachers often save lives, too. Probably much more often than any of us can imagine. And not even in very dramatic ways, either. There are things teenagers might find more comfortable to talk to a trusted teacher about, than their parents… possibly even their siblings or close friends. And sometimes, talking is all it takes. So while it is right to be hor- rified by, and vigilant against, abuse of that trust by rogue 'teachers'… surely we must also learn to trust the entire teaching profession a little more, too. So while it is right to be horrified by, and vigilant against, abuse of that trust by rogue 'teachers'… surely we must also learn to trust the entire teaching profession a little more, too MINISTRY FOR EDUCATION AND EMPLOYMENT