Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1143967
18.07.19 13 OPINION Kevin-James Fenech Kevin is the founder and owner of JOB Search - jobsearch.mt and FENCI Consulting fenci.eu. He is a management consultant and business advisor by profession, focusing on strategy, human resources and recruitment. He has a passion for anything related to business and has written about the topic for over 10 years in most major newspapers or journals P eople lie, on average, once or twice per day. e prevalent thinking is that over the last several dec- ades and directly linked to the decline of the Maltese catholic church, we have become more prone to lie. In the past, Christian values were very strong in our society and therefore peo- ple were arguably less likely to lie. is does not mean lies didn't exist since they clearly did but today a lie is as com- mon as a Prosecco. I think it is plausible to assume that now-a-days the default programme of most people is to be to lie if necessary. ere are small lies, big lies and even fat lies. To add insult to injury, people seemingly don't see anything wrong in telling a fib or three. I see it everywhere; the ubiquity of ly- ing is frightening. People will spin lies as it suits them and it is up to the recipient of the information to decipher if there is a lie masking the real truth. One might ask: What is a lie? e con- cise answer, I guess, is: 'To knowingly make a false statement'. In practice, there exists various forms and degrees of lies which all makes the whole subject very interesting. In fact, psychologists will tell you that lying is part of human communication/social behaviour and part of our self-defence mechanism designed to avoid pain and/ or increase pleasure. Sigmund Freud explains it as the in- terplay between 'id', 'ego' and 'super-ego'. Sometimes we are firmly anchored in reality (a place where the truth resides) whilst on other occasions we intention- ally steer away from that same reality in order to protect ourselves. In essence, we all have our own ways of coping with the 'truth' which may not always be kind to us or our situation and our psyche sometimes compels us to lie in a primal effort of self-preservation. e funny thing is that humans have over time have become very ingenious. People can tell a 'half-truth' which pre- sumably means the truth intermingled with lies. Alternatively, people can speak an untruth which please note is different from lying per se. Basically, a 'lie' is a deliberate false statement whereas an 'untruth' is an unintentional false statement. A subtle but ever important difference. People also make a distinction be- tween 'misinformation' and 'disinfor- mation'. Dictionary.com defines misin- formation as '…false information that is spread, regardless of whether there is intent to mislead…' whilst disinforma- tion is explained as '…deliberately mis- leading or biased information; manip- ulated narrative or facts; propaganda…' To be honest the types and degrees of lies are almost infinite. One can invent, fabricate, prevaricate, falsify, twist, con- ceal and my absolute favourite is [wait for it]: 'terminological inexactitude'. Or 'pseudo fantastica'! Love the play with words. We also have occasional liars, frequent liars and serial liars. Or those with a conscience who feel guilty when they lie but also those who see nothing wrong in spinning a lie since '…the end [al- ways] justifies the means' (apparently). My point is that people lie; some more than others but it has become part of social fabric and everyday life. is despite the fact that most of us have been brought up to shun, rebuff and/or treat lying as undesirable and morally wrong; the sad truth, howev- er, is that 'we are all liars'. Personally, I much prefer the brutal honest truth but that's just me. Politicians and lawyers historically got all the bad publicity on this front. Politicians typically employ spin tactics which obfuscate the truth; they are ei- ther 'economical with the truth' or they 'exaggerate the truth' to suit their polit- ical arguments. Whereas lawyers, ultimately, are driv- en by their mission to defend their cli- ent(s) meaning they present a version of the truth which suits their logic and they put holes in the other side's argu- ment. erefore, the truth is not abso- lute but a pragmatic acquiescent fabric which lawyers are free to mould to suit their defence or attack in the interests of their client. Today, however, everyone trades in lies, half-truths, misinformation, ter- minological inexactitudes [sorry but I had to use it] and a host of other dark arts which ultimately move us far away from the '…the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…'. I think it was Hugh Laurie who fa- mously quipped: "It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. e only variable is about what." But it was Mark Twain who really dished it out: "Everybody lies... every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception." Let's face it, Teachers lie to students; interviewees lie to interviewers; em- ployees lie to their superiors; customers lie to companies and vice versa; lawyers and politicians play with the truth as if it were plasticine clay; and the list just goes on. In essence, the absolute and pure 'truth' is constantly being stretched, hidden and/or tempered with. Where is it? Lost and confused probably. By now, I hope, you privately admit that we are all liars with varying fre- quencies. As a people, as a society, we all trade in lies and the truth is a version which suits our interests or needs. Yes, we all have our justifications and motivations plus not everyone partakes in this dark art all the time but we all do it at some time or other. To lie is human. According to research carried out by Harvard University, 'we lie if honesty doesn't work' and the four biggest rea- sons why people lie are: (1) to cover up a mistake (2) to gain economic advantage (3) to gain personal advantage and (4) to escape or evade other people. As you move down the list of reasons, you'll notice two opposites: we also lie to hurt other people but equally as like- ly we lie to help others. is is because the ability to manipulate without need- ing to use physical force is part of our evolution. In fact, lying as a behaviour arose not long after the emergence of language. Lying is what the clever folk do to get to where they want to without needing to use brute physical force. ere, I have done my bit... I've drawn your attention to the fact that we are all liars. Now it's up to you to interpret your reality and adapt accordingly. My advice is not to take anything at face value. Understand what motivates people, what their interests are and study their track record. Also, don't be- lieve everything you read especially on social media or online. We live in an age where emotional in- telligence is what sets people apart and the successful ones are those who have a high emotional intelligence because they see through the lies. Great employees, successful entrepre- neurs and/or high potential children (to mention just a few) all score well on emotional intelligence. We are all liars, but it's only the foolish ones who believe everything. Wise up to the 21st century! We are all liars