Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1165935
25 OPINION tracted, and then subdivided among other portfolios which also deal with a bunch of other, mostly unrelated things. 'Budget and Administra- tion' is now in the hands of Johannes Hahn (Austria); meanwhile "Sylvie Goulard (France) becomes the next In- ternal Market Commissioner charged with working on in- dustrial policy and promoting the Digital Single Market"… whilst also being "responsible for the new Directorate-Gen- eral for Defence, Industry and Space." Let's see now: budget, inter- nal market, industrial policy, the digital economy… all that's gone. (Oh, and 'employ- ment', too… but I'll come to that later.) So… what's left for Paolo Gentilone to even do, as Commissioner for Economy, after all the major planks of his portfolio have been dished out to other Commissioners like they're none of his business? I have no idea, but I must say he has probably just landed himself the cushiest Commis- sion job in EU history. He is technically Europe's first-ever 'Commissioner for Practically Nothing' But even that pales to insignificance, compared to some of the other newly- created Commission roles. Like the 'Commission For a Stronger Europe in the World', for instance. Erm… 'Stronger' in what spe- cific sense, might I ask? Mili- tarily? Probably not, because (as already noted, if you were paying attention) the Defence portfolio is in Goulard's hands. Economically and/or finan- cially? Unlikely, seeing as we already have at least five differ- ent EU Commissioners taking care of all that. Hang on, let me guess. Physi- cally stronger, perhaps? If so: why is the same Commis- sion not also responsible for Health? (Or even Agriculture, to ensure that all good Europe- an citizens 'eat their spinach', like Popeye told them to?) But the one that takes the biscuit has to be the 'Com- missioner for Protecting Our European Way of Life'. I mean… what the blazes are we supposed to even understand by that, anyway? What 'way of life' do they mean? And who is the 'we', implied by the word 'our', in that extraordinary title? I somehow doubt my own 'way of life', as an EU citi- zen living in Malta, is in any way comparable to that of, say, Margaritis Schinas from Greece, who landed that portfolio… or Ursula von der Leyen from Germany, who in- vented it… or pretty much any other EU citizen in any other EU member state, for that matter. Still less do I see how Schinas intends to 'protect' this mysterious 'way of life'… and, more specifically, from what. What I do know, however, is the last people who offered me that sort of 'protection' were ultra-nationalist, far-right par- ties like Pattrijotti Maltin: who pledged to 'fight Islamic immi- gration on the beaches' (some- times by defending the crucifix in classrooms… but mostly by eating pork sandwiches in public); and also to rid Malta of all the perversion brought about the government's recent 'liberal, progressive' agenda: i.e., rolling back all the achievements of Malta's gay community, among other minorities, in recent years. Ursula von der Leyen can't possibly have any of that in mind, can she? Of course not. Why, the very idea is about as preposterous as… as… …well, as John Cleese sud- denly coming out as pro-Brex- it, after a lifetime impersonat- ing a typical Brexiteer on the screen. And sure enough, most of reactions I have seen to date were once again… 'surprised'. It seems to 'surprise' some people, that a former member of the German centre-right Christian Democratic Party would consider 'immigration' to be a leading threat to 'our European way of life'… even though that's what all right- wing European parties clearly believe anyway. And they are even more 'surprised' to discover that the astonishingly populist, neo- fascist choice of name for this new Commission role, would comprise a portfolio includ- ing… wait for it… 'migration and security, as well as educa- tion and employment." Never mind that any one of those issues, in isolation, would require at least one whole Commission portfolio to itself (I have yet to hear of a single Cabinet of Minis- ters, anywhere in the world, that doesn't have a dedicated Minister for Education, for instance). No: all those issues now get lumped under 'Pro- tection of Our European Way of Life'… like that's the only thing that matters. I suppose, by that token, that 'Security' now means 'protect- ing Europeans from maraud- ing hordes of un-European immigrants'; 'Employment' means that 'the immigrants Europe relies on for cheap labour had better not be too demanding'; and 'Educa- tion' is now 'a tool to defend Europe's conservative, right- wing, inward-looking mindset (against the above-mentioned threat posed by migration, of course)'. And people are surprised that others might be having second thoughts about remaining in a European Union that is taking this sort of direction? Honestly, not even Monty Python's Flying Circus could possibly beat that for surreal- ism. maltatoday | SUNDAY • 15 SEPTEMBER 2019 And people are surprised that others might be having second thoughts about remaining in a European Union that is taking this sort of direction?