Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1365202
10 maltatoday | SUNDAY • 25 APRIL 2021 OPINION Raphael Vassallo 'Qu'ils payent pour le gym!' A little birdie told me that One News gave a lot of prominence to a certain article I wrote last week. And you'll never guess about what, either: let's just say it wasn't one of the million or so articles I've written about the environment, overdevelopment, hunting, immigration, public transport, the Covid crisis (and government's recent mishan- dlings thereof…), etc., etc. Nope: as I suppose you've al- ready guessed, it was an article in which I criticised the Nationalist Party… if, that is, it even quali- fies as 'criticism' at all. What I actually wrote was that the PN cannot expect surveys results to ever change… if it keeps dogged- ly sticking to the same, failed po- litical strategies it has been using since 2013. (And I could say the same for a couple of other par- ties I know, too…) But no matter. The real tragedy is that… I missed it. Can you im- agine? All those long years, pa- tiently awaiting the '15 seconds of fame' that Andy Warhol once personally promised me… and what happens? When they do finally arrive, it turns out I was too busy playing Civilisation VI at the time to even notice. I mean, come on. What sort of lousy TV scheduling is that? Don't station managers know they should time their news broadcasts so as not to coincide with other, much more impor- tant matters? Like my latest at- tempts to vanquish the Hittite Empire, for instance. Or to final- ly convert the Holy See to Islam (Been trying for 4,000 turns…) Let's be realistic, now: I can't exactly 'conquer the world' and 'watch the news' at the same time, can I? So please: a little more consideration, next time… But then, on the bright side: I have no doubt that there will be a 'next time', soon enough. For One News will surely take just as much interest in this article, as they did to the other one. I mean: it's not exactly as though that station has a reputation of being 'one-sided', or anything… does it? And this time round, I'll even be writing about one of their favourite topics, too. Ian Borg. You know: the Trans- port Minister who is generally worshipped and drooled over by 99% of the rest of One News' output anyway (in fact, I've just thought of a good name for that 'New Religion' I plan to found: 'Haqqalanqism'…) In particular, this article will focus on a certain comment Ian Borg uttered at a recent press conference, to inaugurate a public park. You know: the one where he dismissed complaints from residents about the 'lack of exercise space', by telling them (in these exact words, I kid you not): "Whoever wants to go to the gym should pay a member- ship, and go to a gym…" And yes: I'll admit up front that it may even seem like I'm split- ting hairs… it was, at the end of the day, just a throw-away, off-the-cuff remark; it certainly wasn't rehearsed, or scripted (or if it was… well, what I can say? Ian Borg should seriously con- sider firing his current script- writer, and directly appointing another one in his place). But then again: that, in itself, is also what makes it so worthy of such disproportionate atten- tion to begin with. It's not just 'what he said'… but 'how he said it'. And, in both words and atti- tude… let's just say the results don't look too promising, at a glance. For starters, I suppose it's just as well that Ian Borg happens to be a Cabinet minister here in Malta – where, let's face it, we are always so very forgiving of such extraordinary blunders – and not in almost any other part of the world. In all honesty, I struggle to think of a single country where a sup- posedly 'Socialist' minister would even get away with such open, egregious disdain for the very socio-economic bracket he is ac- tually meant to represent – you know: precisely the sort of peo- ple who can't afford the stand- ard rate of around €250, just for a three-month gym subscription. Not with kids to feed, a mortgage to pay, and a salary that's just been slashed by a quarter (if not lost altogether) because of the COVID-19 crisis… And that, to be honest, is al- most the least offensive part. For even if we were all financially comfortable enough to afford just under €100 a month on a gym-pass… then… erm… we wouldn't exactly be able to use it, would we? In case Dr Borg hasn't quite noticed this yet: all the gyms are shut, you know. (Actually, to be 100% specific… they were forced to close, because of measures taken by the same government Dr Borg happens to be part of himself. But let's not split hairs again…) And this, in turn, is precisely the reason why all those com- plaints had even been raised in the first place. It was not – as Ian Borg himself seems to think – only out of a deep, personal dis- like that many have clearly taken towards that particular individu- al (and, let us freely admit it: he does have a small point there. Somehow, people tend to form unflattering opinions about those whom they hold respon- sible for the destruction of their environment. Don't ask me why; it just happens…). No: it's also because, regard- less of their own socio-econom- ic circumstances, people of that neighbourhood – and the rest of Malta, too – already feel they've been deprived of a service that is (at minimum) 'good for their health'... at a time when – let's face it – any little extra help would surely be welcome. And OK: 'joining an expensive gym' might not exactly qualify as a 'necessity', either. Many might even consider it a luxury, consid- ering that there are other tried- and-tested ways of improving health and fitness: like outdoor sports, for instance… but… Oops! All those have been knocked out of action by Covid, too. So even if 'providing free, outdoor gymnasium services' might not, in times of normali- ty, ever feature very high in any government's to-do list… well, we're not exactly living in 'nor- mal times'. Never mind gyms: most of the economy (retail, ca- tering, anything to do with tour- ism, etc.) is currently on life sup- port… at the cost, our Finance minister tells us, of €5 million a day. Some of the affected business- es have even warned that un- less they are allowed to re-open soon… they may never re-open again: that is to say, not even in the event of an ultimate end to the pandemic itself. Now: I am the first to admit that I'm hardly what you would call an economist… but I have watched 'The Wolf Of Wall Street'; and I do know that, at times like these – i.e., when an unprecedented 22% suddenly cites 'possible job loss' as a pri- mary cause for concern – 'dis- posal income' becomes some- thing people are generally less keen to actually dispose of. (Again: don't ask, it just hap- pens). It is not just the 'destitute' or the 'materially deprived' who may find that they don't have an extra E100 a month to blow on anything non-essential. With this much economic uncertainty in the air… I'd say even the more financially secure amongst us would think twice before spend- ing 100 euros even on grocer- ies… let alone on 'working on their abs', before the onset of summer…. So for Ian Borg to respond to those (entirely legitimate) con- cerns, by almost huffing in impa- tience as he tells us all to 'solve of us problems by spending money' – i.e. the one thing many of us don't actually have very much of, right now – I don't know. Per- haps he should thank his lucky stars, not just for having been born in such a forgiving coun-