Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1405706
13 NEWS maltatoday | SUNDAY • 29 AUGUST 2021 How do I ask someone what their gender pronoun is? As part of an introduction or icebreaker at work, you can say, "Tell us your name, your role, and if you're comfortable, your gender pronoun." You might hear gen- der-neutral pronouns like "they, them, theirs." In other cases, people may prefer that you simply use their name. In a one- on-one conversation, the best way to ask is with a straightforward: "What are your gender pronouns?" or "Can you remind me of which pronouns you like for yourself?" What happens if I use the wrong gender pronoun for someone? If you realise it at the moment, correct yourself. Apologize and restate the correct pronoun, as in, "Sorry, I meant she." If you realize your mistake after the fact, apolo- gise in private. Don't dwell on your mis- take - it's not productive. Steven explains, "It is inappropriate to make the person feel awkward and responsible for comfort- ing you." In other words, it's your job to remember and respect someone's gender pronouns. The best apology is to be better in the future. How organisations can promote inclusion through gender pronouns An easy way for companies to introduce gender pronouns into the conversation is to include them in email signatures. This action serves not only as a reminder inter- nally but also builds awareness externally. Most people have not been questioned about their gender identity. This is a sim- ple way to show they care about and re- spect the people in that minority who are questioned about their gender identity: an acknowledgment of one's privilege. in their social media bios does help – for the longest time, it was done by transgender peo- ple, and it was a clear identifier and made them targets. Really for many cis people, there is no discomfort doing it," they said. Labour MEP Cyrus Engerer (he/him), currently the only Maltese MEP to have his pro- nouns listed in his social media bios, says his deci- sion was a de- liberate, clear message of inclusion and that he would not assume an- yone's gender. "This creates a safe space for all and not just those who never had to worry about which pro- nouns others use to refer to them. As a cis-gender male, I've been privileged in society having a singular and visible gender identity. However, not everyone owns that privilege," Engerer said. Engerer said that by doing so, he is hoping to make mi- norities more comfortable do- ing so – while at the same time creating aware- ness to those who might not know the struggle that people are going through. "A few on my social media have sometimes ridiculed pronoun listings. If one spoke with those affected, they would imme- diately realise how much important this is to a very vulnerable minority in our community," he said. This is perhaps also related to the use of other gender-neutral pronouns like 'ze' pronounced zee, and its variations, 'zir', 'zem', and 'zeir', which have not caught on in everyday lan- guage. The attempts to make new non-binary pronouns have not been as successful because they are not already embedded in grammar, unlike "they" and "them". (The Sacramento Bee used the gender-neutral 'hir' from the 1920s to the 1940s. Mx. – the gen- der-neutral equiva- lent of Mr. or Mrs. – was first record- ed in an April 1977 edition of the magazine The Single Parent.) Engerer said that while he disagreed with imposing pronouns, it was clear that one should lead by exam- ple. Nationalist Party candidate Emma Portelli Bonnici (she/ her), is also one of the few PN politicians who has her pro- nouns in her social media bio. She says that if by doing so she helped one person feel at ease and less marginalised, then it was worth the mockery she had received. "I have found that some people have a tenden- cy to mock or belittle that which they do not understand, or perhaps, that which does not affect them per- sonally – it did not come natural- ly to me to under- stand why it is impor- tant to include pronouns anywhere, but once I listened to the stories and lived experiences of the people whom these issues directly affect, it became much easier," she says. Portelli Bonnici believes the role of a politician was to work for the people – whether they voted for them or not. "It is paramount to ensure that the best practices are implement- ed at the highest levels of gov- ernment to set an example and allow that example to trickle down - this applies to some- thing as seemingly small as the inclusion of one's pronouns on their social media accounts." "Some may think of some of these things as small, they can be life-changing in making oth- ers feel seen, heard, and safe." lcalleja@mediatoday.com.mt Emma Portelli Bonnici (she/her) Mina Jack Tolu (they/them) "It is paramount to ensure that best practices are implemented at the highest levels of government to set an example and allow that example to trickle down" - Emma Portelli Bonnici