Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1450614
11 maltatoday | SUNDAY • 13 FEBRUARY 2022 OPINION ation of Heaven and Earth'… … and I can just stop there, really. Because pretty much any other 'divine miracle' that has ever been attributed to God Almighty – and there are thou- sands to choose from, in the Scriptures alone… which prob- ably become millions, if you extend the definition of 'God' to also include other religions, and other belief-systems… … all of it would be kind of pointless, really: without the existence of a Universe for them to actually happen in… and without any human be- ings, to actually believe in them all…. And what: are we to sudden- ly understand that the same God who created the entire Universe out of, quite literal- ly, 'Nothing'… not to mention having presumably first creat- ed that 'Nothing', from which He would later create all the… erm… .. oh, you get what I mean. Are we to seriously believe that the Judeo-Christian God – whose 'Infinite Power' is so utterly unimaginable, that we cannot even begin to describe it in words… yeah, that's the God I mean – is suddenly no longer capable of even convincing a measly 36,000 Nationalist Par- ty voters, to just go out and… um… vote for their own party in an election?! What can I say? Times must be hard indeed, if even the Lord of All Creation has been reduced to such a pitiful, pow- erless state… But hey! Revelations like this also explain a heck of a lot, you know. For instance, we now know precisely WHY the Na- tionalist Party keeps finding it so utterly impossible, to ever revert to its pre-2013 electoral standing. It is not – as I myself once er- roneously believed – because of its own failure to ever re- ally convince the electorate that it can still be trusted, as a serious, alternative govern- ment-in-waiting… … oh, no: it's all God's fault, naturally! For let's face it: ac- cording to that same anthem, it was clearly God Himself who once assured the Nationalists of their 'certain victory' (not just in this election, mind you… but presumably, in all of them since the 1930s). And, well, He hasn't quite always kept that little 'promise' of His… has He now? Then again, however: it was also the Nationalist Party which committed the original sin… I mean, 'strategic deci- sion' to hire God Almighty as its campaign manager. And if, for whatever reason, God Almighty fails to deliv- er the goods – be it because He has lost something of His 'magic touch', over the long millennia… or, who knows? Be- cause He simply got tired of all the endless bickering… all the counter-productive in-fight- ing… all the missed opportuni- ties, and all the wasted advice… and in the end, He simply threw up His Holy Arms, and stormed out of Dar Centrali in a Divine Huff… But none of that really matters, because: just as the PN original- ly hired God for His services… well, they are still in time to just fire Him, and appoint someone else to take His place… Hang on, wait. Hasn't all this already happened? Wasn't that the whole purpose of appoint- ing another aspiring 'supreme deity' – Christian Peregin, this time – as chief Nationalist Par- ty strategist… because he was clearly so much better qualified for that job, than even God Al- mighty in Person…? But this only brings me to the most glaring Divine Mystery of them all. For that same ar- gument – 'Alla Magħna!' – also explains something else about the PN's current predicament. It is not so much that the Na- tionalist Party is clearly failing to inspire even its own, hard- core grassroots, with all this 'Ji- hadist', 'God-versus-Evil' non- sense… it is actually that the PN is failing to inspire voters, precisely BECAUSE of all these same 'Godly delusions'. And NOT – lest I be misun- derstood – because their own voters have in any way 'forsak- en God', themselves: quite the other way round, in fact. Conservative Nationalists may still place their full trust in God; but clearly, not so much in the PN anymore. And as for the (much smaller) denomination of secularists in that party… well, they're not exactly going to come flock- ing back to the fold – all danc- ing to the tune of 'Il Ballo di Qua[ck] Qua[ck]' – simply be- cause 'God told them to'… now are they? And if that same old, tired 'Al- la Magħna!' tune has now clear- ly started irritating both the 'Faithful', and the 'Faithless', in more or less equal measure… I mean, do I honestly need to even continue? Clearly, the time has come to… erm… CHANGE THE FLIPPING TUNE! (There: and to think I could be earning an easy E60K a year, for all this advice I give out for absolutely free…) Just as the PN originally hired God for His services… well, they are still in time to just fire Him, and appoint someone else to take His place…