Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1459407
9 Unity SUNDAY 13 MARCH 2022 Dr Ingrid Grech Lanfranco Child & Family Studies THE anticipation of becoming parents for many couples, usu- ally involves quite a substantial amount of preparation. A lot of energy is dedicated to how and where and when things will happen, and the inevitable ar- rival of the new family member. From visits to the gynae, setting up the baby's crib, preparing baby clothes, juggling around work arrangements, to child- care support, to mention just a bit of what goes on. The transition from couple to parents, whilst carrying its own excitement, is undoubtedly one of the major life transitions in- volving a big adjustment, the re- ality of which usually hits soon after the baby arrives. Coping with this transition provides a number of challenges, includ- ing maintaining and caring for the mental well-being of both parents. Screening for mental wellbe- ing at ante-natal and post-natal periods are both equally crucial, so parents can be offered the support they need to cope with the changes in their lives, and most importantly to provide the necessary care to their baby. We know from research that the environment in which a child grows will interact with that child's wellbeing and fu- ture development on different levels – emotionally, cognitive- ly, behaviourally, academically, socially. The early environment for the child is the relationship be- tween the parents, including not only their mental wellbeing, but also the quality of their re- lationship. If one or both of the parents were to be struggling with men- tal health issues, the levels of stress would be expected to rise, and the quality of care and in- teractions with the child would reflect this. It is also evident from recent research, that a child in such an environment can become more irritable and difficult to soothe, which inevitably elicits more stress from the parents and vice-versa. Supporting parents is there- fore crucial to avoid such stress. Parents need and deserve all the help they can get. Specifical- ly supporting them to support their relationship as partners is the key to better parenting, even when a couple is parenting separately. The quality of the couple rela- tionship is fundamental to how effective their parenting would be. Sadly, the couple relation- ship is one of the first things put on the back-burner, because the baby takes so much time and energy. If the couple relation- ship is forgotten, it is likely to be a matter of time before other difficulties start to show up. Therefore the importance of nipping the relationship in the bud, supporting it throughout the transition to parenthood and beyond, cannot be un- derestimated. Evidence from co-parenting programmes held with couples of infants clearly showed us that when the cou- ple invests in the quality of their relationship as a couple, the frequency and level of conflict between them decreases, the interactions with between them and with their child improves, and their baby becomes easier to soothe. Therefore, let us continue to develop the means to invest in supporting couples in their re- lationship to be better parents. Doing so is investing in the fu- ture of our children, and in the future of our society. Supporting parenting: securing children's future wellbeing Supporting parents is crucial to avoid stress. Specifically supporting them to support their relationship as partners is the key to better parenting, even when a couple is parenting separately Dr Claudia Psaila Social Policy & Social Work A lesson that we have learnt over the past two years is that life is fragile. The pandemic created a huge disruption to our daily lives. What we nor- mally take as 'given': our rela- tionships, work, health, educa- tion etc. were threatened. This sort of upheaval is also experienced on individual lev- els when something out of the ordinary happens, such as a terrible accident, the loss of a person we love, or serious ill- health. Communities can also be affected by such distressful disruptions, such as natural disasters, violent crime, injus- tice, poverty and so on. Such experiences shatter the status quo and threaten our sense of safety and security. At times like these, what we 'know' and what we take for granted, is shaken: our sense of comfort, inner stability, world- view, assumptions, values and beliefs. This can be a very scary and disturbing time where we suddenly question everything. So, what is going to anchor us during these times? How are we going to cope, survive and thrive? How can these expe- riences also be a time of new discoveries, opportunities and personal growth? Research has found that what can ground us is our spiritual- ity. There is no universal defi- nition of spirituality although many agree that spirituality is a multi-dimensional and per- sonal construct. Canda and Furman (2010) explain that "spirituality refers to a univer- sal quality of human beings and their cultures related to the quest for meaning, pur- pose, morality, transcendence, well-being, and profound rela- tionships with ourselves, oth- ers and ultimate reality." The latter dimensions are found in most definitions of spirituality. In recent times, across the Western world, the term spirituality has gained popu- larity, particularly because it has been divorced from the concept of 'religion'. We have seen a drop in church attend- ance and an increase in voices that criticise and challenge re- ligions. This is due, in part, to individual and societal clashes and conflicts with religion. Take as an example, hurt- ful and offensive comments towards LGBTIQ+ people by religious individuals. Such ex- periences upset and anger in- dividuals and communities. People may generalise such comments and attribute them to the religion that these in- dividuals represent causing them to question whether they can embrace or subscribe to a religion that is hurtful, reject- ing and condemning. These doubts may turn in- to an anxiety-provoking cri- sis for individuals for whom their religion is very important and is a part of their identity. The very source of their inner strength and social network can be shaken to the core. For this reason, and others, some persons decide to leave their religion. Such experi- ences may initiate an internal searching process in people where they conclude that they are spiritual but not religious or that they believe in God but do not want to belong to a re- ligion. For others, a distinction between the institutional as- pects of religion and the faith, values and beliefs of that reli- gion becomes essential. One's spirituality – mean- ing-making, sense of purpose, values, connection with oth- ers, nature and higher power/ God – can be religiously in- spired but it can also be secular or non-religious. We do not have to throw away the baby with the bath- water. Spirituality, whichever way a person defines it, can still be a lens with which to view the world. It can still be a re- source (whether internally or relationally) that anchors and sustains us in difficult times; a beacon of light guiding us and giving us hope in troubled times. Spirituality A beacon of light in troubled times If one or both of the parents were to be struggling with mental health issues, the levels of stress would be expected to rise, and the quality of care and interactions with the child would reflect this "Let us continue to develop the means to invest in supporting couples in their relationship to be better parents"