Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/244624
20 Opinion maltatoday, SUNDAY, 19 JANUARY 2014 Europe is not for sale. Unless you W ell, this week brought with it a bundle of news, and no mistake. Take Wednesday's debate in the European Parliament about 'European citizenship for sale', for instance. I for one learnt more about the institutions that make up the EU in that half-hour alone, than the Malta-EU Information Centre managed to teach me – at the cost of Lm3 million, borne by the tax payer – in the entire decade before we actually joined. I for one had absolutely no idea – and certainly hadn't been given any reason to suppose, either – that the European Union we joined in 2004 was such an immaculately squeakyclean place… an incorruptible bastion of impeccable morals and vertiginous ethical standards, beset from all angles by an ocean of smut, crime and corruption. As I listened to one MEP after another talking in horrified tones about 'the rest of the world' – mostly Russia, America and China – as it were populated only by drug barons, corrupt oligarchs and unscrupulous, exploitative capitalists… I suddenly realised how very fortunate we all are to live in the only economic bloc on the planet where all such things are simply alien and non-existent. It transpires, for instance, that before naughty little Malta starting flogging its passports on the global market, not a single European country had ever accepted large (or even small) amounts of cash in the form of 'investments' from Russian, American or Chinese crooks. No, not even one euro's worth. Forget everything you've ever read or heard about Russian oligarchs buying up huge swathes of real estate (as well as the occasional football team) in the heart of European capitals such as London; or about vast bank deposits of Russian and Chinese money held in Commissioner Vivian Reding's home country of Luxembourg; or about European countries falling over themselves in the mad scramble for lucrative deals with some of the same American, Chinese and Russian (and Libyan, and Saudi Arabian, and Kyrgystani, etc) tycoons and arch-criminals whose very mention now makes Europe's elected representatives shudder with revulsion and Raphael Vassallo distaste… Oh, and never mind also the naked, undisguised trade in weapons and armaments destined for all the world's troubled hot-spots, in exchange for… oh, bouquets of flowers and polite 'thank-you' notes, I suppose. None of that ever mattered at all, you see… until Malta decided to sell the grand total of 1,800 passports for 650K a pop. Then, suddenly, the collective voices of all Europe's elected representatives – with around four exceptions – joined in unison to howl and wail in terror at the prospect of their precious Europe being swamped by vast cash investments that drip with the blood of innocents, and reek to high heavens of rot, crime and corruption. Honestly, it was hard not to jump to my feet in applause at such a moving display of European hypo… I mean, democracy in action. Bravo! Another thing we learnt is that Europe is also built on the solid foundations of drama and romantic patriotic fervour: a sentiment so passionate and heart-felt that it can only really be expressed in the language of song. So when Irish MEP Sean Kelly was called upon to urinate on a fellow member state for the grave crime of trying to attract a little investment, he almost burst into an old Irish ditty about "The American" – spoken of as if "The Americans" are some newly-discovered species of invasive parasite – who wanted to buy an Irish town. I mean, can you believe it? An American (ugh!) wanting to buy up property in a European member state! What on earth will it be next? European universities accepting Chinese (ugh!) students? Or Russian (ugh!) oil magnates transferring their assets to European banks? Small wonder Kelly would pour his indignation out in such melodious patriotic verve… Strangely, however, Sean Kelly had no songs to sing throughout the long decades when his own country, Ireland, peddled its own passports for a fistful of Irish punts. This is from a 2012 article in International Living: 'For about 10 years until the mid-1990s, Ireland offered an economic citizenship program that was highly popular, at least among very wealthy people. For a five-year, unsecured investment of $1.7 million, instant citizenship was granted within 90 days.' Similar schemes were relaunched recently to counter the effects of economic crisis: 'This new program began on April 15, 2012, and if you make the investment, it can lead to full citizenship. Irish citizenship opens the door to full personal and commercial access to all 27 countries in the European Union.' How odd. I would have the thought the sound of music would echo across the green hills of Ireland, from County Cork all the way to Tipperary (and that's a long way, let me tell you) at this grave affront to common decency and 'European values'… with Sean Kelly himself leading an orchestra of infuriated little leprechauns, all chanting at the top of their voices: "No, No, No, our wee country is not for sale!" But no, no, no music was heard on that occasion, was it? Dead silence, except for the wind rustling in meadows of quivering shamrock. ILLUSTRATION BY JUGOSLAV VLAHOVIC Where was Sean Kelly's shock and horror at the thought of selling his birth-right to a bunch of American capitalist pigs, I wonder? But the lessons we learnt were by no means limited to the European Parliament alone. We also suddenly discovered that there are actually two European Commissions, not one. Either that, or its Vice President Viviane Reding has an undeclared identical twin who sometimes speaks in her place. This is what Viviane Reding said when asked directly about Malta's proposed passports-for-sale scheme in November 2013: "This is a national matter. The Commission has no competence in this area and thus there is nothing for us to say." But by Wednesday 14 January, the same Commission (or wait, was it the other one?) suddenly found it had plenty to say on the same subject. "I am somewhat shocked that citizenship is being linked to the wallet," Reding told the European Parliament. "I am not aware that I have been consulted on this… this goes against EU treaties and even against international law." She even suggested that there may be "consequences" if Malta goes ahead with its scheme as planned. So, pardon me for asking, but… which one of you is the real Viviane Reding, and which the identical twin? Or did something happen between November 2013 and