Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/560195
maltatoday, SUNDAY, 23 AUGUST 2015 24 L adies, please. That's simply no way to comport yourselves in public, you know. Yes, yes, I am well aware that you all went to finishing school, and that you've all been taught to always act 'prim, proper and lady-like', and all that. But this isn't an episode of Downton Abbey. This is a good old-fashioned public spat between the Nationalist and Labour parties' women's associations… such as we have not seen since the good old 1970s or thereabouts, when the 'Ghaqda Nisa Socjalisti' would routinely beat up the entire Nationalist Party youth brigade, and pretty much anyone else unwise enough to get in their path (whereupon their husbands would launch themselves enthusiastically into the fray, on the pretext of 'protecting their wives'…). Ah, the good old days! Politics was so vibrant and exciting back then. Today, of course, it's a whole different ballgame. Up until this week, I'd forgotten that either party even had a female association to speak of: still less how, some 20 or 30 years ago, entire crowds used take to their heels in blind terror at the prospect of being dismembered by one... But naturally, this only makes the return of the 'Ghaqdiet Nisa' to the political centre-stage that much more exciting. In fact, it would be no exaggeration to describe it as the most eagerly anticipated live-action event since 'Women Of Wrestling' returned to HBO in 2012. Besides, in this great age of feminism they both have a point to prove. They have to demonstrate to the broader public that they're every bit as up to the job of 'bashing their political opponents' as their male counterparts have been for the past half-millennium or so. And just look at how the male sections of the same two parties have been busy ripping each other's throats out all summer. Why, hardly a day goes by without news of Simon Busuttil and Joseph Muscat grappling with each other again, like a pair of schoolboys rolling around in the playground dirt: 'He started it!' 'No, he did!' Biff! Whack! Sock! Kapow…! It seems you have a lot of catching up to do, ladies. So far, what passes for 'political debate' in this country has been a little like that classic James Brown song. No, not 'Feeling Good'… far from it… the other one: 'It's A Man's World'… and even then, a 'Man's World' in which men merely exchange barbs and insults in a never-ending cycle, while studiously avoiding any real discussion of any of the issues at hand. So when we heard that the party's women had finally muscled their way into the action, I need hardly add that enthusiasm for the sport (among male spectators, at any rate) suddenly skyrocketed. No offence to the above- mentioned contestants, or anything… but the sight of the same old duo at it again (and again, and again) was starting to get a little repetitive. There are only so many insults the two party leaders can actually hurl at each other before it all starts to sound a little stale. And there are only so many genuine issues for the parties to actually clash over… before it becomes apparent to all and sundry that what's actually important here is not the issue at all: only the clash. But the women's sections of the same party? Grappling with each other furiously as they undulate in the same glistening mud-pit? Now THAT is something most of out here would pay good money to see. And we'd expect nothing less than a full-blown, no-holds barred catfight, too: fur, feathers and all... (note: if you want inspiration for a psyche-up, I'd recommend the classic 2003 Women Of Wrestling encounter between 'Delta Lotta Pain' and 'Jungle Grrrl'. As I recall, Delta 'finished' Jungle with a dreaded super-move known as the Opinion Raphael Vassallo This is wrestling, not politics. We expect to be entertained… Labour's and the PN's women's section are feuding over a reform in the IVF law: 'It's very selfish of you, you know, to only think about those thousands of people who can't have children of their own. This is Maltese politics you're messing with here. There's a long standing tradition of simply disregarding all serious issues, to only concentrate on a purely personal, petty and increasingly meaningless feud between two hillbilly political parties.'