Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/630594
maltatoday, SUNDAY, 24 JANUARY 2016 24 Opinion H onestly, though. Who would have ever guessed there was such a deeply embedded link between patriotic sentiment in Malta, and… pork sandwiches? Sounds absurd, I know. For other nations, the equivalent image might be a great warrior or hero from the pages of history: William Wallace, perhaps, or George Washington, or Garibaldi (the man, not the biscuit) or Genghis Khan. And the source of their patriotism might be some epochal victory on the field of battle, when the land they love so passionately finally became a 'patria' after centuries of armed struggle. For us? Oh, just a few pieces of pork-belly thrust between two slices of Maltese bread will do nicely, thank you very much. And some tomato 'sos' while you're at it, too. Oh, and can I have some fries to go with that? Thanks... That's some patriotic sentiment, you know. Why, I'm suddenly so proud to be Maltese I might just organise a good old 'majjalata' with a few fellow patriots. We'll wash the pork down with some Farsons beer, and sing along to Freddie Portelli's 'Viva Malta': "Ghal din il-gzira naghmlu kollox…" Sure, Freddie, we'll do absolutely anything for this island. Especially if it involves stuffing our faces with fatty foods, and literally 'pigging out'… This might also explain the curious statistical coincidence whereby (judging by the video) the average Maltese 'revolutionary hero' currently weighs a minimum of around 200 kilos. Of course their black T-shirts are only available in XXXL. Just think of all the pork and bread you'd have to stuff your face with, before proving yourself worthy to actually wear one... But it takes a certain flair, I must admit, to organise a barbecue where other countries might take to the streets armed with scythes and pitchforks, and maybe set fire to a few police cars here and there. Our methods of national insurgency are so much more… civilised. Let other, less developed nations storm their seats of government, and affix their political leaders' heads to the battlements, and all that. Here, we prefer to set up open-air carveries, and hand out bits and pieces of a slaughtered pig while brandishing a bloodied meat- cleaver. Hmmm. OK, I suspect the Maltese pork-eating patriots don't see the irony in this one either, so I may as well spell it out for them (it's the least I could do, after they so generously fed me enough for the entire year last Friday). The last time people were heard complaining about the 'public dismemberment of domestic animals in urban neighbourhoods'… it was themselves, in protest at the Muslim tradition of slaughtering a sheep during Ramadan. Sheep, pig, pig, sheep… slaughtered as a religious ritual, slaughtered as a protest against other people's religious rituals… any patriot care to actually explain the difference? Oh wait, let me guess: one is 'halal', and the other 'haram'. It just depends whether you prefer mutton or pork in your doner, that's all… Nor is this the only area where the distinction between 'protesters' and 'protested' starts looking like the humans and the pigs at the end of Animal Farm. Tell you what: let's try and digest the logic along with the pork, and see where it all takes us. The reason why Maltese patriots felt compelled to partake in a public sucking pig banquet last week, is that they object to a large number of Muslims praying where they can actually see them. They have no objection to these people praying in principle, mind you… just not in their line of vision, that's all. And they've even suggested alternative venues that are conveniently invisible to themselves: like the only official mosque in the entire country… which is somehow expected to cater for the needs of a Muslim population that has more than quadrupled in the past two decades alone. Doing rounds on the Internet at the moment is an aerial photograph of this mosque in Paola. There are arrows pointing towards the vacant grounds on either side of the building. More than enough room, the caption (roughly) reads, for 1,000 Muslims to pray together, without ruining the view for everyone else. So why do they insist on praying in front of the Msida church? They don't need to. So they shouldn't. Now have a pork sandwich, and shut up… OK, let us for a moment close an eye at the glaring non-sequitur staring us in the face. What Maltese Muslims 'need' is hardly the issue here; it's their freedom to exercise human rights that is at steak… I mean, stake. Like Maltese Catholics (or any other religion/ denomination), Muslims enjoy both freedom of worship and the right to peaceful public assembly. They are quite frankly free to pray wherever they like, and so is everyone else: including the patriots themselves. But let's ignore all that, and apply the same logic to Catholicism. How much space do Maltese Catholics have to worship, and how does it match with their actual needs? For starters, there doesn't seem to be any clear consensus on how many places of worship there actually are for Catholics in Malta. Tradition has it that there is 'one church for every day of the year': which would make Raphael Vassallo The Great Pork Sandwich Intifada DON'T SETTLE FOR ANY JOB TECHNICAL SERVICES OFFICER ETC PERMIT: 117/2015 Security and Network Services We are seeking to employ Technical Services Ocers to join our Security and Networking areas respectively. Security - The successful candidates will maintain and operate information security systems, analyse security logs to identify condentiality, integrity and availability threats and recommend mitigation measures. 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