Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/646116
maltatoday, SUNDAY, 28 FEBRUARY 2016 16 News MIRIANA TESTAFERRATA DE NOTO EXPLAINS THE DAILY STRUGGLE OF FENDING OFF THE BULIMIA, ANOREXIA AND EATING DISORDERS THAT PLAGUED HER TEENS Fending off anorexia, my daily struggle MARTINA BORG 20YEAROLD Miriana Testafer- rata de Noto has a history of eating disorders, one she is impressively open about, and one which has shaped much of her life so far. "Going through and defeating an eating disorder is something to be proud of and I feel it defines me now," Miriana told MaltaToday. Although still young, Miriana has been through almost the entire spectrum of eating disorders, start- ing with binge eating, moving on to bulimia, and anorexia, with oc- casional bouts of orthorexia – an obsession with healthy foods. "Ultimately it's a cycle of guilt," she said, adding that the disorder was a response to external factors in her life, particularly stress and anxiety about school examinations. "I would binge-eat one day be- cause of anxiety, then feel guilty the next day and force myself to throw up through excessive exer- cise, or sometimes I would fast, if not try both at the same time," she said, adding that the disorder sub- sequently became a way for her to stay in control. "The external factors causing my anxiety couldn't be helped so I thought I was staying in control by modifying my eating patterns," she said, adding that at the height of her condition when she was about 15, there were days where she couldn't muster enough energy to get out of bed. Besides the physical effects, like a lack of energy and pain due to excessive acid in her stomach, Miriana explained that anorexia slowly started taking over various aspects of her life, including her so- cial and academic life. "I began to miss out on occasions for social interaction because they would revolve around food and dinners, and I also began missing out on lessons because I became so weak. "I ultimately had to drop out of Junior College and I needed therapy to get back on track," she said, add- ing that seeing her grades slip and eventually having to leave school, made her feel like a failure. Loneliness compounded her anxi- ety, but Miriana also began to ac- tively avoid her old friends because she was aware that they would see the difference in her appearance and call her out on it. "Although I was proud of looking increasingly skinny, I think I was always aware that I wasn't going about it the right way, and there were moments where I questioned why I was liv- ing – or rather – existing the way I was." Despite this awareness, she per- sisted in losing weight – anorexia was like a voice that was ever pre- sent in her mind. "It is a daily struggle, and it never goes away entirely. Therapy helped me realise that learning to ignore and stifle the voice is a long pro- cess, and that it's ok to relapse sometimes. "What made me finally realise I needed therapy was seeing the con- cern in my family's eyes," she said, describing her parents and two sib- lings as an "incomparable support system". "They were there for me at the worst of times and they lived through the disorder alongside me. However, I don't think anyone should seek help unless they really want it." After she sought out help, it was only a matter of months before her health was back on track, but even then, it was only because she was truly determined to change herself. "Recovery is one of the hardest things I have had to go through so far, both physically and emotion- ally, and I wouldn't have managed to get through it and benefit from it properly unless I was truly will- ing to let it change me," adding that however hard it had turned out, she was convinced she had discovered many of her strengths through it. Although two years have passed since the start of therapy at 18, anorexia remains a daily struggle: Miriana keeps trying to to avoid triggers like stepping on a weighing scale. "Although I've stopped go- ing to therapy now, I know what to avoid, and I also know how to rec- ognise the signs of when my anxi- ety gets too much for me to handle alone." She still goes for one-off therapy sessions every now and then. One of the most important things to keep her as distant from the dis- order as possible is keeping herself busy, and now she pursues a degree in European Studies at the Univer- sity of Malta, apart from regaining her social life. "I understand that some people find it hard to talk about their ex- perience, but for me, it's freeing to share my experience with others… being open about my history has also helped me make more friends. I know that as I was recovering I 2123 4710 www.mita.gov.mt For further information, contact the Finance and Contracts Department The above tenders are obtainable from the Electronic Public Procurement System (www.etenders.gov.mt) Supply and Installation of a UPS System at MITA including maintenance and support – T018/16 Issued on: 23 February 2016 / Closing on: 23 March 2016 MITA NOTIFIES THAT OFFERS WILL BE RECEIVED FOR: Invitation to TENDER Economic operators interested in participating in these call for tenders are to note that workshops are being organised by the Department of Contracts at the premises of Centre for Development Research and Training (CDRT), San Salvatore Bastion, Sa Maison Road, Floriana FRN 1610. During these workshops, economic operators will have the opportunity to familiarise themselves with compiling and submitting a tender online. More information is available in the tender document. Miriana Testaferrata