Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/662335
maltatoday, WEDNESDAY, 6 APRIL 2016 10 Opinion I t's a strange thing to have to point out, but… have you ever paused to consider that your chances of getting mauled by a lion or tiger are actually much higher in Malta, than in both Africa and India put together? And by an order of magnitude, too. In Malta – home to fewer than half a million people – there have been two big cat attacks in the last six months alone: one involving a tiger, and the other a lioness. This sets the probability of being attacked by either of those two animals at approximately 450,000:1. (Note: to put that statistic into some kind of perspective, you are around 20,000 times likelier to be dealt a pair of aces before the f lop in Texas Hold-Em Poker...) How does this compare to countries where lions and tigers actually live in the wild? Let's see now: in India, there are approximately 85 tiger attacks each year… out of a total human population of well over 800 million. By my count, the chances work out at one in over 90 million: i.e., more than 200 times lower than the corresponding statistic for Malta. It works out roughly the same for African lions, which annually attack up to 250 people. Viewed in relation to the human population (including tourists) of all African countries that are home to wild lions – Tanzania, Uganda, Kenya, South Africa, Lesotho, Namibia, etc. – the stats are simply incomparable to our own lioness and tiger casualty rate. Fact of the matter is that Malta's seemingly unremarkable ratio of 'two big cat attacks a year' – calculated as a proportion of the population – works out at literally thousands of times higher than any African country… or, indeed, the rest of the world put together. This also means that our unassuming little island is without a doubt the world capital of lion and tiger attacks on little children. In fact, such incidents have become so predictable that bookies are no longer even taking bets on the next wild animal attack at the Montekristo Zoo. I called Ladbrokes yesterday, asking them what sort of odds they'd give me on a bet that the next Montekristo animal victim – because we can already safely predict that there will be more in future – would be constricted by an anaconda, or dismembered by a polar bear. They f latly refused to take the bet… arguing that so many people had already called with the same enquiry, they'd be wiped out altogether in the event of a mass pay-out. And I can't say I blame them. If the experience of the last six months has taught us anything, it is surely that such accidents are one of only three things in life that are still considered 'certain': the other two being 'death ' and 'taxes'. Indeed, animal attacks at Montekristo may well be the last remaining one of those 'certainties'. In this great age of cybernetics and medical advancement, 'death ' no longer seems so eminently unavoidable. As for 'taxes', it is now painfully obvious that the only fools who actually still pay any are the vast multitudes of ordinary salaried employees like you and I. For everyone else – not just the Konrad Mizzis and the Keith Schembris, but all the world 's multinational corporations, and most of its politicians – there are secret holdings in blacklisted tax havens such as Panama and the British Virgin Islands. But attacks by wild animals at Montekristo? Those are virtually guaranteed. How can it be otherwise, when a 'zoo' that was supposed to have been 'closed ' since last November, has evidently been open for business as usual all this time… without the authorities even so much as noticing? And how can such attacks possibly be prevented, any way… if the zoo itself is not even covered by any national legislation, and therefore immune to all the stringent safety precautions and regulations that are mandatory in all properly licensed European zoos? In fact, the truly extraordinary thing is not so much the bizarre fact that 'lion and tiger attacks' have become almost as commonplace as bee stings and mosquito bites in this country… It is actually the sheer audacity of people like Charles Polidano, who presume that they can own and manage something as complex as a zoo – complete with dangerous and potentially lethal animals – without possessing even the most rudimentary expertise in zoo administration. Let's face it: everything about Montekristo Zoo is (and has always been) an ugly accident waiting to happen. It is a place designed and managed by bungling amateurs with absolutely no understanding of what's actually involved in keeping and caring for wild animals… with results that we get to read in the papers from time to time. Consider, for instance, how a 'real ' zoo like (for instance) Regents' Park in London receives literally millions of visitors a year… and yet never gets associated with animal attacks on visitors (as opposed to attacks on animal handlers… which do occasionally happen even at the best managed zoos). Part of the reason concerns the very simple fact that – unlike Montekristo Estates – Regents' Park Zoo is a member of the European Zoo Network, which imposes very strict licensing conditions for the protection of animals and the public alike. The lion enclosure, for instance, is separated from the public walkways by not just a fence, but also a moat... which means that the closest you can actually get to the animals themselves is no less than 50 yards. At Montekristo? The only thing separating lions and tigers from the public are bars spaced several inches apart… leaving more than enough room for an adult lion to swipe at an onlooker with its paw (or, worse still, for a child to stick its arm or head directly into the cage). Hardly surprising, then, that this disgraceful establishment has never been given a permit. It doesn't meet even the most basic of European licensing conditions from a safety, hygiene and even animal welfare point of view. And that, please note, is when the animals are actually kept inside their enclosures… as would be considered a sine qua non in any proper zoo, for reasons that are too obvious to even bother mentioning. But then again, the employees of a real zoo would also require special qualifications and several years' experience before even being considered for the job. At Montekristo, on the other hand, it seems that any old fool who can hold a leash is automatically considered 'qualified ' enough to handle an animal as large and unpredictable as an adult tiger. Can anyone therefore claim to be surprised, when a couple of unqualified, unlicensed 'zoo-keepers' saw absolutely nothing wrong with letting a tiger out of its enclosure during opening hours last November, when the establishment was literally teeming with visitors? That is precisely the sort of cock-eyed, amateurish approach to health and safety that you'd expect, from an establishment that was operating illegally and in the absence of any form of regulatory framework. It is precisely the sort if thing that inevitably happens, when the rule of law simply disintegrates altogether. For it's not just Charles Polidano and his illegal zoo that bear all the hallmarks of bungling amateurism and complete disregard for basic public safety. The authorities, too, have once again been exposed as equally ineffectual. Not only has it clearly proved beyond the law enforcement capabilities of this country to force an illegal zoo to close… but time and again, these same illegal, unlicensed premises have been 'endorsed ' by public embodiments of officialdom. The most recent (and bizarre) example involved the Minister for Home Affairs (no less)… who once again saw absolutely nothing wrong with inaugurating a 'hunting fair' held at an establishment that still doesn't have the necessary MEPA permits to even exist… let alone host activities for the public. Tells you everything you need to know, really. If various government ministers, including the minister responsible for law enforcement in Malta and Gozo – not to mention the President of the Republic – have no qualms attending public events at an illegal, unlicensed venue… what message is actually sent out, if not that there is nothing wrong with complete and utter disregard for the law? Makes you wonder which is the bigger 'zoo'… Montekristo Estates, or the country which allowed and even encouraged this blatant lawlessness for so long. Raphael Vassallo Lions and tigers and bungling amateurs, oh my!