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maltatoday WEDNESDAY 14 FEBRUARY 2018 News 5 VALENTINE'S Day is an oc- casion to celebrate the love and affection between cou- ples, but it is a sad reality that relationship issues are very common. We spoke with Matthew Bartolo, a counsellor spe- cialising in relationships and sex, to understand the major factors behind relationship difficulties. Bartolo told us that an av- erage of 25 couples a week saw him at his practice be- cause they were experienc- ing issues between them. "There are a mixture of is- sues behind separations and divorce," he said, "But the main cause is lifestyle, which can lead to a lack of com- munication, resulting in sex and sexuality problems, and resentment." "Lifestyle is a result of un- healthy priorities," Bartolo highlighted, "And some- times we choose a certain lifestyle over our relation- ship." "For instance, the impor- tance you give to a career or job over spending time with your family, affects a rela- tionship." Jealousy and infidelity are two other major issues, Bar- tolo said, explaining that cheating was something both men and women were guilty of. "It could be that women are more likely to look for pro- fessional advice in cases of infidelity," he noted. Social media: friend or foe? Asked whether the advent of social media was a fac- tor in causing relationship issues, Bartolo said that he didn't believe it caused in- fidelity in itself, but it could facilitate it and increase the chances of being caught. "Things like Facebook can make it easier to have contact with certain people, such as an ex-partner. Moreover, it is easy to turn to social media for someone to speak to – such as a work colleague you have a romantic interest in – if your partner is not listen- ing to you," he highlighted. At the same time, social media could help couples stay more connected, he pointed out, remarking that it was a tool which could be used according to what the person wanted to achieve. Separation and divorce Malta's courts approved 1,864 cases of divorce in Malta and 72 in Gozo, be- tween October 2011 and December 2016. Moreover, 4,174 separation cases in Malta and 320 in Gozo were finalised in the same period. A failed relationship did not always involve a sepa- ration or divorce, however, Bartolo told us. "Couples sometimes stay together for decades al- though one or both of them are miserable," he said. Boredom in a relationship was not necessarily the re- sult of having been together for many years he main- tained. When it came to children, these could bring couples together or else make them drift apart – the latter if the children make it harder for the partners to spend time together. Loyalty behind a happy relationship Loyalty was probably the most essential thing if a cou- ple wanted to be happy, Bar- tolo said, elaborating that he did mean loyalty only in the sense of not cheating, but also in terms of consider- ing what the other person in the relationship would feel knowing you were going to act in a certain way or take a particular decision. "While some couples don't survive infidelity, in other cases it makes them strong. Some move away from each other, while others decide to start investing more in the relationship and making it work." "The same obstacle could make or break a relation- ship, depending on the in- vestment of the couple", he added. Single? 15 February is your day The day after Valentine's Day is popularly known as Singles Awareness Day, bringing attention to the fact that many people are single – out of choice or circum- stance – and still able to live a full life. Those who prefer to cel- ebrate their single status on 14 February can also attend a party aptly named "Fu*k Roses, Get Me Drunk", start- ing at 9pm at Kuromi Malta, St Julian's. Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, falls on 14 Feb- ruary this year, perhaps giv- ing a somewhat ironic tinge to some of the celebratory activities of Valentine's Day. mcosta@mediatoday.com.mt As couples in love today celebrate Valentine's Day, MASSIMO COSTA asked counsellor Matthew Bartolo about the most common causes of relationship break-ups Lifestyle issues are the major cause behind relationship problems MATTHEW AGIUS A care worker has been remanded in custody by a court after he was caught on camera inappropriately touching an elderly woman he had been taking care of. Reagan Ugat Tion, 43, from the Philippines, was accused of violent indecent assault at the woman's Zebbug home. The police were called after CCTV at the woman's residence showed the man grop- ing his 77-year-old charge. He had been employed by the woman through an agency and had known the victim for less than an hour when the offence took place, the court was told. The elderly woman is now in her rela- tives' care. Inspector Kylie Borg exhibited a pen drive containing the footage in court, and both defence lawyer Fransina Abela and magistrate Consuelo Scerri Herrera were shown the video in court. The court asked the accused if he understood the nature of the charges and whether he was going to plead guilty. The accused pleaded not guilty. The court denied bail and as- signed the case to a Zebbug dis- trict hearing. Care worker accused of sexually abusing elderly woman in his care UNWANTED THRILLS: