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MALTATODAY 17 June 2018

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25 maltatoday | SUNDAY • 17 JUNE 2018 OPINION can always be sold again. We, on our part, would only be too happy to assume ter- ritorial possession of Lampe- dusa in exchange... along with any other suitable island territories Italy no longer feels like administering. For as they say: 'fair trade is no robbery'... but the trade in question does have to be 'fair'. This brings us to the negotia- tions part. How do we balance the equities between an SAR zone stretching from Tunisia all the way to Crete... and an island roughly twice the size of Gozo? Clearly, we cannot go merely on the geographical dimensions of the respective areas. Otherwise, not even all Italy's national territory, from Pozzallo to Alto Adige, would be enough to balance the scales. Of course, we could always be as greedy as we usually are in these scenarios, and throw in that as our initial a counter- offer: 'sure, you go ahead and take our SAR zone... mean- while, we'll annex your entire country'. But let's face it: that would only defeat the entire purpose of the transaction. My proposal – and I have no doubt that Prof. Baldacchino would fully concur – would be to counterpoise 'surface area' with 'sovereign territorial rights'. Whatever islands we come away with in the bargain will be ours... part of Malta's national, sovereign territory and legal jurisdiction... while Italy will only get a token form of 'ownership' over its newly acquired – albeit enormous – chunk of the Mediterranean Sea. Still, even by these calcula- tions, tiny Lampedusa, alone, is clearly not going to meet Malta's expectations of a 'good deal'. By my estimation, Italy would also have to throw in all the Aegadian, Aeolian, Cyclo- peian and Pelagian islands.... pretty much any Italian island south of the Amalfi Coast, in fact... except Sicily, of course. (No offence, but that island is simply too much for any coun- try to administer: Malta least of all. So I say we let them keep it, as a 'gesture of good will') ... Besides, who needs Sicily anyway, if we control all its surrounding islands? If it ever came to open war between our two countries (hey, you never know: it's happened before) ... we would be able to strategically position all five of our patrol boats to effectively blockade most of southern Italy... while the full might of the Italian Marina Militare would be hopelessly over- stretched, in the eternal effort of patrolling and co-ordinating operations across 250,000 km2 of wide open sea. And the best of part the deal is that... well, that's exactly what Italy wanted in the first place. And what we secretly want, too. What do you call that, if not a win-win situation all round? There: see how easy it all is? No need for any stand- offs, diplomatic tiffs, political showdowns and mass-walk outs from Presidential speech- es. Countries can all get along just fine, no matter what their differences may be... with nothing more than just a little creative horse-trading here and there. If Lampedusa is no longer 'safe', it is only because the Italian government has manifestly failed to live up to its own civic responsibilities as a sovereign state Lampedusa, and our SAR is yours...

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