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maltatoday | SUNDAY • 1 AUGUST 2021 4 BOOKS The title of your new book literally translates as "And you wake up one morning, suddenly a dad …" (U tisbah missier …). Just how sudden is fatherhood? From my experience you re- ally realise that you are a dad at that very moment you have the baby in your hands. From that moment onwards, the rules of the game change.From then on, your baby needs you and you have duties to carry on your shoulders. You step up to the new reality that being a dad is not an imaginary concept any more. Hence, my choice of title. Bookshelves are heaving with books on motherhood – on the transition to it, on the shock to the system that is having and raising children. But it's rather more unusual to find books about fatherhood, especially in Maltese. In the introduction to your book, you quite con- troversially state that Maltese society remains patriarchal and still considers child rearing to be a woman's job. You went on to say that you felt the need to write this book to challenge this outdated idea. Would you care to elaborate? Let me be clear. This book is not a manual about fatherhood or a treatise on how to rear children. It is about the joy, and sometimes the tensions, of being a father. I strongly believe that the upbringing of our offspring should not be solely the wom- an's remit. We men have a share in this too, even if we sometimes fail in our respon- sibilities miserably, to put it mildly. But I believe men should participate in their kids' life as much as women do. They should express their emotions openly with their kids. They should help them to take the right decisions based on their own experiences. They should play with them. Listen to them. They should show them by ex- ample that life is worth it. The belief that boys don't cry is foolish and this book shudders at that very idea. Having said that, I tried to tackle everything with a humorous touch. Also, I see this as a book for both sex- es, by the way, and not just a "mens' read". You are well-known in Maltese literary circles for your prolific output, that often centres around biographies and re- search tomes. Am I correct that this is the first time you are putting yourself in the spotlight in your writing? How different was it to write about your own life, as compared to usually writing about others'? Yes, it is absolutely my first time that I am sharing my per- sonal life with my readers. It is true that writers do write from their personal life experiences, but especially in this case all events narrated are true and there was no extra colouring from my end. I never thought I would write this book. As you said, my portfolio consists of mostly research texts. I used to post short anecdotes, comments and so on, on Facebook, with regards to my children. Once I was invited to a radio show and the host suggested that these anecdotes deserved to be pub- lished in a book. I left the studio thinking about this and as months passed, I pitched my idea to Merlin. Chris Gruppetta argued that the book should not be just an anthology of posts, but go fur- ther. And U tisbaħ missier … was born. Whilst researching, one tends to be clinical. On the contrary, many – and mixed – feelings cropped up when I was writing this book. At times I laughed. At times I got emo- tional and teary. Mind you, a few readers are already pushing for a volume two! In U tisbah missier … you opted for short chapters, episodes and anecdotes, not necessarily in chronological order, span- ning your fatherhood years all the way from the birth of your two children. Was this a delib- erate stylistic choice? The original manuscript was totally different. It consisted of the episodes in no real or- der. The editor suggested that the stories should be arranged in the present order. I imme- diately took the suggestion on board. Still, the stories can be read in any random order. Your book dips, time and again and very liberally, into the nostalgia of a quainter Malta that is no more. The Malta of everyone going to the summer Trade Fair, of traditional family life, of Sunday outings. Do you feel your children are missing out on this Maltese lifestyle of old, or are they better off in today's society, warts and all? I am not an idealist and as a university-trained historian I refuse to idealise the past. But I think that my upbringing greatly differed from the life of my children. The way technol- ogy is taking over our lives is ruining certain joys of life that in the past we took for granted and were a part and parcel of our lifestyle. I still express amazement every time I board an aeroplane and experience its dynamics. Technology made our chil- dren more or less puppets, and I am afraid it is robbing them of what really counts – inno- cence and simplicity. When I was my kids' age going to Gozo was like going to America. We used to put together a Carnival costume from rags. There was a strong sense of identity, that globalisation today is killing. This book has only recent- ly been published, yet it is proving to be this summer's unexpected hit. The pub- lisher reports soaring sales and the book is quite literally everywhere. What has been your experience of this? Were you expecting such a visceral reaction? To be honest when the pub- lisher accepted my manu- script, I was super thrilled. It was going to be my first book with Merlin Publishers – one of the main publishing hous- es in Malta – and I wanted to impress him as much as pos- sible. But I never thought that this book would be a bestseller in a very short span of time. I started to realise this when readers suddenly began to post on Facebook their views about the book. On a daily basis for at least a couple of weeks, two or more readers would upload the book cover on social media, tag me and add the comment "it arrived". All posts expressed enthusiasm for the book. And finally, what's in the pipeline for Sergio Grech the author? An author never stops dream- ing. With Merlin Publishers, hopefully soon, I am going to publish a novel. It's my sec- ond novel. Years back, I had published the novel Il-Lejl tal-Irġulija. It will be interest- ing to see what readers will say about the new novel after having read U tisbaħ missier. The new novel revolves around the death of my late father. Of course, this is not going to be an autobiographical exercise but an opportunity to dwell upon a subject that haunts and threatens our own being. Meanwhile another book I've edited, in the Bejn Storja u Mi- ti series, should be out later on this year. U tisbah missier … by Sergio Grech is published by Merlin Publishers and is out now. Sergio Grech publishes new book 'U tisbaħ missier' Author Sergio Grech latest book 'U tisbaħ missier' tells the story of a father of two Sergio Grech