Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1489031
maltatoday | SUNDAY • 25 DECEMBER 2022 OPINION 10 Raphael Vassallo OPINION 'The true meaning of Christmas…' AS you may have already worked out for yourselves: I'm not exactly the type to get all 'mushy' and 'sentimental' at Christmas-time. In fact, now that I think about it: I'm usually the type who doesn't even notice that it's Christmas-time, at all (until, of course, there are only around three hours left to actually do any Christmas shopping in: whereupon, I instantly trans- form into the equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger, from 'Jingle All The Way'…). This year was no different from any other: partly be- cause… well, it's not as though 2022 gave us very much in the way of 'advance warning', did it? Just this morning, for instance [I'm writing this on December 22: supposedly, the 'mid-winter equinox'], I took a walk along the Sliema seafront, and… in all honesty, there was precious little to indicate that the 'tilt of Planet Earth is currently at its furthest from the Sun, in its entire annual orbit-trajectory'. (Translation: It's the middle of freaking winter, folks! By rights, we should all be sitting at home, freezing our goddamn butts off!!) Judging by all the people who were sunbathing on the rocks; or eating ice-creams; or even, in some extreme (most likely British) cases… actually SWIMMING... I mean, who on earth could possibly blame me, for assum- ing that 'Christmas' was ac- tually still around four whole months away (MONTHS, please note: not DAYS)? Oh, OK: I'll grant you that there were a few visual clues, here and there. That the streets were adorned with Christ- mas decorations, for instance. Looking back, I concede that should really have been a bit of a 'dead giveaway', all things considered… But then again: how on earth am I expected to recognise those decorations as having anything whatsoever to do with 'Christmas'… when they're all about 'snowmen'… and 'ici- cles'… and 'reindeer-drawn sleighs'… and… um.. 'CHRIST- MAS TREES', for crying out loud? Seriously, guys. How often do we have to go through this, an- yway? It doesn't actually 'snow' in Malta, remember? And not only are plants such as 'Hol- ly' and (especially) 'Mistletoe' alien to the indigenous flo- ra… but the last known 'living Maltese tree' was personally uprooted by former Transport Minister Ian Borg himself, back in August 2017, to make way for a spanking new, multi-lane flyover. How can I put this? It's just plain unrealistic, to light up streets with images of what 'Christmas' might look like, if we were all living in Svalbard, Norway; or the Yukon, Can- ada… when the reality is that we all live here in (worryingly) sunny Malta. So please: how about inject- ing a tiny dose of realism, to next year's Christmas decora- tions? Like, um… I don't know: parked cars, perhaps? Or piles of garbage-bags accumulating on street-corners, as everyone gets confused about the new collection-days? (You know: the sort of stuff we can all ac- tually RELATE to, for a change. Just a thought…) But in any case: having over- looked the significance of all those 'Christmas decora- tions'… and having (by the same thought-process) also assumed that the real reason most shops were playing Ma- riah Carey's 'All I Want For Christmas Is You', was be- cause… um… they actually LIKE that song?! (What can I say? This is a weird country, after all; stranger things have been known to happen…) … I was suddenly assailed by the slenderest of doubts. What IS the actual date, anyway? And, well: that's when I fi- nally realized it was NOT, as I had hitherto assumed, 'around the 15th of June, at the latest'. Which of course, also precip- itated my usual annual bout of… 'AAARGH! It's Christmas in just three days' time!! I ac- tually have to get my butt out there, and do some… SHOP- PING!!!' Which brings me to the part of Christmas I have always found the most puzzling: i.e., what do people actually mean when they talk about 'the true spirit of Christmas': or – even more bizarrely – when they describe it as 'the season to be jolly', or 'of good cheer'? Surely, I cannot be the only person in the entire Universe, who actually regards 'Christ- mas' as the clean OPPOSITE of a 'relaxing, care-free holi- day season'… and unlike most of the others: I don't even have any children of my own, to add to the anxiety! And that means: no addition- al 'stockings to fill'; no school Christmas plays to have to reluctantly attend… in fact, I don't even have to participate – at any level, whatsoever – in the annual preparations for Christmas lunch (for reasons that anyone who's ever sam- pled my past culinary efforts would readily explain… pro- vided they were still alive, of course). But I suppose you can see where all this is heading: if even I can feel overwhelmed, by the sheer stress associated with the (cough, splutter!) 'Holiday Sea- son'… I shudder to even im- agine what it must be like, for people with families to actually 'organise Christmas for'. This leads me to believe that