Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1495665
14 Unity SUNDAY 26 MARCH 2023 People What do you think triggered your psychosis? I'm still not sure about that. I re- member that at the time I was rather anxious about my O-level exams. The strange thing is that I don't know of any close family member who have this condition or a similar ailment. Ex- ams used to stress me out badly. The first known episodes I had were that of hearing voices whilst I was swimming and playing water polo. At first it was very confusing but also interesting in a way. Being a creative person myself, I thought this was a stimulating expe- rience initially, but I soon realised that there was more to this than creativity and imagination. How did the Sixth Form you went to deal with your mental health condition? Very well. The teachers at St Aloy- sius College simply asked me what I need and they supported me through and through. They were also very un- derstanding when it came to exami- nations, which have always been my nemesis. There were times I would go to the bathroom, make sure no one is there and have long conversations with my hallucinations. When is the worse time of the day? Mornings are terrible. I find it hard to start off the day. It's a mix of ex- haustion, the occasional nightmares and my sleeping patterns are not that good. Did you ever confuse these hallucinations with a spiritual experience? My first cycle of hallucinations were mostly positive and friendly; I even considered them spiritual. Other hal- lucinations were negative. As time went by, the negative hallucinations triumphed over the positive ones. Therapy encouraged me to detach my- self from the positive hallucinations. The therapist asked me to 'let go'. This will sound strange to you, but I sat down and talked to them, essentially dealing with them like a relationship that has broken down. At first, it felt bad. It felt like a loss. I had to grieve. It felt very real because they had become part of my support system. How many hallucination characters are still around? I have four negative hallucinations which I experience on a day-to-day basis. At times they are all around, espe- cially on bad days, three persons and a talking dog. One of the characters has a face, a distinguished look, a voice that has been with me for these last 11 years. Then there is a woman and a dog and another man. And as I said... the dog talks to me. I can literally smell their body scent and mouth. I've had physical alterations. I also have a scar on my chest which I proba- bly did to myself but I cannot remem- ber when that happened. They all have names, but I don't give them identity to avoid giving them power and space. In fact, I concede that they are there, but I do not address them. Once at University I saw a woman walking a dog who looked incredi- bly similar to my hallucination and I had to ask someone who was near me whether they are seeing this dog too. The hallucinations are so real at times I get confused between what is real and what is a hallucination. Did you ever have to be admitted to hospital? Yes, it happened a couple of times. I go to a private hospital as my par- "I got a two-seater so there would be less space for my hallucinations to sit with me. They are so invasive" Matt Paris is a graduate in psychology and currently a candidate for his Masters in Gestalt Psychotherapy. At 15 he started having episodes of psychosis which he kept to himself for two years, living with voices and other hallucinations on his own, not knowing how to deal with it. Except for the occasional chat with his friends, he kept it all to himself, fearing retribution and misunderstanding if he had to disclose it. Since then, he has become a mental health advocate and his role within Richmond Foundation gives him opportunities to go around schools and communities sharing his experience. Prof. Andrew Azzopardi caught up with him at a restaurant in Paola MATT PARIS MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE