Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/286290
maltatoday, SUNDAY, 30 MARCH 2014 13 Interview cipated as recently as 1993, when the concept of 'patria potestas' [the Ro- man law that gave the husband/father plenipotentiary rights over wife and children] was finally abolished. Before that, it was not just a cultural percep- tion that the man was the only author- ity of the household. It was a legal real- ity, too…" At some levels, echoes of this real- ity can still be heard in the details of domestic violence cases. One little- known but quite widespread aspect of marital abuse involves financial co- ercion, which Dimitrijevic argues can be as damaging and demeaning as any other form of abuse. "I've seen cases where the wife has to tell her husband what she'll be cooking, and he will give her the money for the shopping for only that day… to make sure that no extra money ever goes to the wife. In some cases the husband will do the shopping himself, leaving the wife with not even the choice of going out to the supermarket…" This form of extreme control is rare- ly cited as an example of abuse, and existing legal definitions may not ca- ter for the details in every case. To my mind it also seems highly indicative of pathological obsessive behaviour. At the risk of generalising I ask Lara Dim- itrijevic if there is such a thing as a psy- chological profile of a man more likely to resort to this form of harassment… and indeed any other, including physi- cal violence. "It's not easy to pin down, because individual cases are sometimes very different. But from my experience I would say that most perpetrators of domestic violence or extreme har- assment tend to be highly egocentric and narcissistic individuals. It is not necessarily always the case, but you do find that many cases will involve some form of personality disorder. For instance, I had one case where the husband admitted violently abusing his wife. He expressed regret, too… but when it was suggested to him that he seek help, he denied that there was anything wrong with him. He said something along the lines of: 'Just be- cause I occasionally beat my wife, it doesn't mean I have a problem.' Don't tell me that's normal behaviour…" Perhaps unsurprisingly, Lara Dim- itrijevic has had plenty of opportunity to observe such disorders first-hand. Her Women's Rights Foundation pro- vides free legal advice, as well as initial free legal representation in court, to victims of domestic abuse… which of- ten places her in the role of perceived 'antagonist' as far as the perpetrator is concerned. Has she ever faced harass- ment herself on account of her volun- tary work? "I have had cases of stalking, yes. I have received intimidating calls on my landline, and have put up with a barrage of… how can I put it?... ver- bal diarrhoea. But far more frequently they use another tactic. They try to befriend me. That happens very often. So more than verbal harassment, I get to put up with all the sweet-talking and charm." The sentence trails away to an al- most inaudible sigh. "I would say that is by far the most common approach," she resumes. "As for threats and harassment, I'd say that happens in around maybe four out of 10 cases…" Four out of 10 cases sounds like a high percentage to me. How does she react to verbal violence? "It makes me more determined," she replies with a shrug. "I feel, 'if they can this to me, just imagine what they can do to their victims'… it gives me, and my colleagues at the foundation, courage to carry on." A recent EU survey on domestic violence points towards a soft white underbelly of crime directed specifically at women. Lawyer and women's rights campaigner Lara Dimitrijevic outlines the reality behind the statistics PHOTOGRAPHY BY RAY ATTARD Till death do us part…