Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/364850
maltatoday, SUNDAY, 17 AUGUST 2014 13 on and so forth. It's more a case of: tell me how you're feeling?" In most cases, he adds, the answer may surprise you. "I find it almost insulting to try and empathise with them, and say, oh I know how you feel. We don't know how someone suicidal feels. So you have to ask. Can I help in any way? Can I do anything?" As for direct confrontation with a person in the act of attempting sui- cide, the approach should be based on attitude rather than technique. "As humans we have a tendency to 'overcomplicate' things in our mind. We tend to think, there's a new technique, there's a method. The technique is basic human rela- tionships. It's 'hi, how are you, what can I do for you?' That's it. If you can create a connection… because a person, in that moment, will be feeling very disconnected, very iso- lated. So we need to approach with an attitude, not with a technique. Believe me, if there were techniques we could say would definitely work, someone would be selling them for 5,000 euros. But there isn't. It's an attitude we need to develop. As far as the "don'ts" are con- cerned, Tortell advises against being judgmental: an advice he extends to judgmental reactions to suicide cases along the lines that suicide is a 'selfish' or 'irresponsible' act. "We tend to judge people by our own standards: 'If I were you…' Well, you're not. We have to un- derstand that what a person goes through is what he goes through. We can't sit there and say, 'oh, I would have done differently.' First of all, we don't know this. To give a very brief example: I worked with heroin addicts for a number of years. Sometimes you say, but how can people knowingly go down that road, with all the problems, and so on. But I wasn't brought up in their circumstances. Had I been let loose on the streets from a housing es- tate at the age of five or six, maybe I would have become a drug runner, or a drug user. You can't just point a finger and take the high moral ground." Moreover, this attitude overlooks the mental state of people in such extreme situations. "I honestly think that when a per- son gets to that stage, and tries to take his own life… I don't think that person can be held up to the normal standards of responsibility. I think in that moment, they cannot see any hope, or any reason for it. I don't think placing a moral judgement on someone who has already suffered so terribly is useful in any way. As a matter of fact I find it quite distaste- ful. How do they know? How do they know what version of hell that person was living through?" Though tragic, Robin Williams' death also illustrated precisely how little we knew about the man behind the mask: and the same applies to the people behind the masks worn by everyone else we know. Is there anything in all this that Malcolm Tortell would consider to be his fi- nal 'Mork Calling Orson' moment? "Robin Williams' death was first and foremost a tragedy for his fam- ily and friends. But also we have a man here who reached out to mil- lions, who left an amazing legacy. At the risk of… I don't know how this will sound, but maybe we can use things like this to bring about more awareness; to let people know that depression can strike anyone… get over this idea of people being 'im- mune'. And that would also, I think, be a nice legacy to leave behind, apart from his acting and his com- edy and all that." The final message, however, comes from his life, not death. "I think it's a strong message to people who suf- fer from the same or similar issues: that they can still lead a life full of meaning. Because the guy did a lot. He spread so much. So I think the fi- nal message to be taken from his life is that, even if someone is struggling or suffering, they can still make something of it." Interview Robin Williams' suicide this week cast a worldwide spotlight on clinical depression: a medical condition psychotherapist Malcolm Tortell thinks we need to stop fearing downward spiral PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS MANGION