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MT 18 May 2014

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17 maltatoday, SUNDAY, 18 MAY 2014 day. At least they don't leave a bad taste in my mouth. As for Simon Busuttil, the message becomes more confusing still. According to him we should use this election to confirm that the PN is on the right track, and ready to govern in four years' time. Small problem. What if we happen to like the PN's individual candidates, and have every intention of giving some of them a vote… but at the same time, we don't approve of the direction the party is taking in local matters, and don't agree that Simon Busuttil is actually fit to be prime minister in 2018? What then? Do we reluctantly stop short of endorsing PN candidates in this election, so that perhaps its leader finally gets it into his head that it is precisely the track the PN is on – the same old confrontational, name-calling, whining and whingeing record of the past 10 years – that is in fact the problem? That if people abandoned the PN in droves last year, it is precisely because they disapprove of its way of doing politics, and were sort of hoping it would change under new leadership? Terribly unfair on the PN candidates themselves, I would have thought. For a change, I happen to think the Nationalist Party has fielded quite a few heavyweight contenders in this election. Even (or should I say especially) the less-known candidates may by all accounts make very fine MEPs indeed. I don't think anyone in his right mind would doubt the European credentials of former Chamber of Commerce chairperson Helga Ellul, for instance. Stefano Mallia was associated with the 'Yes to Europe' campaign in 2003; surely he knows a thing or two about how European institutions actually work, and how to make the most of them. As for Jonathan Shaw, I know him well enough to know that he will most likely be an effective MEP. Even if I didn't, I would have gleaned as much from his press contributions and interviews (including my own). Shaw's case is particularly interesting because he also seems to be striking out in a slightly different direction from the rest of the PN. He is the only candidate (apart from the Greens) to openly favour an end to spring hunting. In a country when politicians have always been too scared of losing votes on this one particular issue, that makes his position a brave one to take. And if there's anything in this world I admire more than doughnuts, it is courage in politicians. But if we apply Busuttil's logic, voting for Jonathan Shaw may prove difficult. We have been told to use our vote to approve the PN's direction. Yet the direction Shaw is taking is not the same as the rest of the PN. Ironically, a vote for Jonathan Shaw can only mean disapproval of the PN's trajectory on at least one issue – hunting. And it is an issue of concern to thousands who will be voting in this election. How much simpler, how much more practical and elegant, how much more useful and soul- satisfying, to use our vote to support those in life who tell us simple things we know to be true. Like how goddamn good their doughnuts are. So if, like me, you are in the quandary of wanting to support the most qualified candidate in this election by far, but who isn't actually contesting the election… never fear. Do as I plan to do, and take with you into the polling station a cunningly-concealed jar of strawberry jam. Then use the jam to mark your numerical preferences on the ballot sheet, so that you can send an unmistakable message to the political establishment, while till voting for the candidate of your choice. The message? "OK, we're voting for you this time, but if the Doughnut Man ever decides to contest… you'll all be dunked in the coffee cup of history…" Now if you'll excuse me, I have some doughnuts to go out and buy… Opinion Vote for the Doughnut Man. Who else? x

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