Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1165935
17 maltatoday | SUNDAY • 15 SEPTEMBER 2019 INTERVIEW Even adoptions are difficult in Malta. So there is a lot more to explore, before we can come to an agreement on whether to in- troduce surrogacy or not. Coming back to the question of equality: it was reported today that children in schools sometimes lie about their family situations, to avoid feeling singled out or excluded. The article made specific references to Mother's Day, and the evident problems it poses for children of same-sex couples in the classroom. Isn't this an indication that, despite having all the laws in place, equality is still difficult to achieve in practice? The sort of problems children face in schools go well beyond that. But yes, there are problems that arise, especially around Mother's or Father's Day. What if a class is told: 'Today, we are going to make a card for Moth- er's Day'… but some children have two mothers? What are they going to do? If they make one card, which of their mum- mies are they going to give it to? Some might even think: will I be 'outing' myself, if I make two cards? That is why some children end up lying. Then again, it might not be because these children have been explic- itly told that there is something wrong with their family; but be- cause the textbooks they use in school do not, in any way, rep- resent those families… the mes- sage they are getting is: "Your family is not 'worthy' enough to be represented here". There might also, obviously, have been messages coming very directly from other students, parents or teachers. But I don't think it's too bleak. There are very good outcomes in schools in cases like these. There are schools which have taken very good care of these children… even those you would least expect: including Catholic schools. I've worked with several Catholic schools, and they've been ex- cellent in the way they're car- ing for these children. This is a best-practice example of how schools can pass on the mes- sage. When a school announces to its students that (for exam- ple) 'this child is no longer go- ing to be called 'Colette', but 'Colin'"… the rest of the kids just get on with it, like nothing ever happened. Because kids are often better informed than adults … Some adults, it seems, are not very well informed at all. There was a recent case of a violent assault on a trans person at a pastizzeria in Msida, for example: which brought home to many people – myself included – that homophobia (or transphobia, in this case) not only still exists, but may be more widespread than we think. Do you share that perception? It is very difficult to say how widespread it is, because a lot of people do not report such situ- ations. In fact, most situations are unreported in all spheres, not just by the LGTBiQ com- munity. But in our case, report- ing may still be perceived as a fearful thing to do. Because the police were not always on board; they were not always our allies. I'm not saying that they are now; but when you realise that the police were, in one way or another, being unhelpful, or mocking the people filing the re- port… and we've heard of these cases in the past: people who were dismissively treated when reporting violent abuse… or, in some cases I know, who heard a policeman calling someone else a 'pufta', while they were wait- ing to file a report… what sort of impression do you get? I think the community does not have a lot of trust in the police. And even if a report is filed… there may be the fear that nothing will come of it anyway. Why go through the trouble, and ex- pose yourself to the possibility of being mocked or shamed, if nothing's going to happen? So the reality on the ground, in so far as how often this happens, is very difficult to know with any certainty… As MGRM, though, surely you will be a point of contact. Are you ever approached in such circumstances? Yes; we do get people inform- ing us of personal experiences like that. More often, though, what we hear about is provoca- tion. Let's just say that: not eve- ryone is 'out there to get you'… but some people are certainly out there to provoke: name- calling, and all that. Obviously, not everyone reacts in the same way. Some of us might just brush it off; others might react in a way that escalates the ag- gression. I'm not saying it's the community's fault, naturally… but how you react will also in- fluence the other's reaction. Having said this: if the first action is direct, physical vio- lence… then it's very difficult to contain one's reactions. I've never been physically assaulted in the street; but I have been a victim of verbal violence in the past. As for myself, I have always ignored it. But I always ask: what if it were someone who had just come out? Or someone who is very uncom- fortable with their identity: people who are not 'OK with themselves' yet? Where would this put them: back in the closet? If so, what sort of psy- chological harm will this create for them? These are things that still happen on the ground to- day. Your earlier point about trust in the police force raises a separate question. Does it mean that all these historical achievements on the equality front have simply not filtered down to institutional level? I wouldn't say they haven't 'filtered down'. I think it's more a case that there are still prejudices: sometimes on an individual level, but sometimes also institutionally. When it comes to gender identity, for instance, there are still a lot of stereotypical, preconceived notions of what being 'male' or 'female' means, and all of that. It extends even to the police themselves: society expects them to be masculine… how would people react to a very effeminate policeman? It must be very difficult to come out in the Police Force, for instance. But the prejudice issue is not something only the police are facing: we were all born into a society that has upheld so many prejudices, for so very long, against gay people... bi people… lesbians… trans peo- ple… intersex people… so the shame associated with all that is still intense. Prejudice has to be worked on – not just preju- dice against the LGTBiQ, but also against other races; other religions; other nationalities, and so on. Unless you work on your prejudices, you're just going to a remain like a horse with its blinkers on. Un- less you make sense of what you've been taught, at school or by society – and let's face it: we've all been taught a lot of very negative things. Even some of the phrases we use every day: 'mela jien iswed?' [Did you think I was black?]; or 'Haqq Ghat-Torok!" [Damn the Turks]… never mind that after saying that, some might go to the local Turkish Res- taurant, and eat a kebab… these racist remarks are very integrated into our everyday speech. Even the word 'Pufta' is very integrated. So unless we work on these prejudices – un- less we question them, try to make sense of them – we will basically just stay with them. prejudice