Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/1165935
ONE of the frustrating things about writing in English is that there doesn't seem to be a clear-cut way of express- ing 'surprise' at the surprise expressed by others. See what I mean? It already looks like I accidentally hit the 'copy-and-paste' button, and duplicated an entire phrase by mistake. But no: that feel- ing exists, and I often get it when other people claim to be 'surprised' about certain things: especially things which, on the surface, seem normal, natural and entirely predictable. Like, for instance, when Brit- ish comic actor John Cleese (of Monty Python/Fawlty Towers fame) came out in favour of Brexit a couple of years ago. Some of the reactions I saw, mostly from people who claimed to be 'Python fans', came close to calling Cleese a traitor. How could their favourite comedian, who had made them all laugh so much over the years, not also share their own political opinions and convictions on absolutely everything? And why would a satirical writer whose entire output has consistently paddled against the currents of popular opinion – at least one Monty Python movie was banned for 'offend- ing public sentiment', but they were all pretty subversive in their day – not suddenly fall in line with the widespread, pop- ular consensus of our times? 'Python fans', my dead parrot. I can only conclude that these people have never watched a single Monty Python sketch, or a single episode of Fawlty Tow- ers, in their lives. Let's start with Basil Fawlty, shall we? What would he have had to say, I wonder, about the prospects of Great Britain pull- ing out of a European Union led by… 'ze Germans'? Probably something like: 'Wunderbar!'… before goos- estep-marching directly out of the Union, holding one finger under his nose, and chanting 'Zieg Heil' every step of the way. As for Basil Fawlty's views on Europe's 'open-door policy' – the main bone of contention in the entire Brexit question – well, just ask 'Manuel the Spanish waiter'. Actually no, wait: the only answer you'll ever get from him is… 'Que?' (What do you expect? He's 'from Barcelona', remember?) So just watch the entire series instead – I'm sure you'll find in on Youtube somewhere – and work it out for yourselves. Every single episode simply oozes with the typical Brit- ish isolationism of today's Brexiteer: not to mention an undisguised contempt for pretty much everything that lies on the other side of the English Channel (all the way down to Malta, by the way: we got a special mention in 'The Hotel Inspectors'… as honor- ary 'Arabs'). And yet, when the same man who wrote all those lines (and delivered most of them him- self, too) suddenly starts speak- ing exactly the same way in real life…. his own fans claim to surprised, disappointed and even 'betrayed'. I mean… it's not like John Cleese ever led us to expect anything different, did he? Even (or should I say espe- cially) his celebrated Monty Python scripts are replete with the same attitude. Consider the portrayal of the French in 'The Holy Grail'; or the Jews/Pal- estinians in 'Life of Brian'; or the total disdain for absurdist bureaucracy in 'The Meaning of Life'… Above all, consider the Flying Circus' celebrated 'Ministry of Funny Walks' sketch: which takes a direct swipe at the stuffy self-importance of peo- ple who wield a lot of power, but have no real ideas or vision to back it up. With a little anachronistic hindsight, it could almost have been a swipe at Juncker's ten- dency to 'walk funny' whenever he suffered from… nudge, nudge, wink, wink… 'sciatica'. I even discerned glimpses of those 'funny walks' in that final procession out of the UK's own House of Commons – wigs, swords, goosestep marching, and all – as it closed for 'proro- gation' last week. That, in a nutshell, is the Python-esque view of all the pomp, ceremony and mind- less bureaucracy we associate with the corridors of power in virtually every country… so why not extend it to also to the European Union? Especially when – let's face it – the cap fits so well? Just look, for instance, at the list of new Commission port- folios unveiled by Commis- sion President Ursula von der Leyen this week. For starters, we will now have not one, but two 'European Commissioners For The Economy'. But… wait for it… only one of them is 'An Economy That Works For The People'. I can only presume, then, that the other Economy, run by the other Commissioner, will not be 'working for the people'… so who else will it work for? The banks? Goldman Sachs? Or maybe former Commission- ers who have already walked through Europe's revolving doors? But that's just the start. On closer scrutiny, it turns out that "Valdis Dombrovskis (Lat- via) will coordinate the work on an Economy that Works for People and be the Commis- sioner for financial services, supported by the Directorate- General for Financial Stability, Financial Services and Capital Markets Union." Paolo Gentilone from Italy, on the other hand, will focus on… um… whatever's left of the Economy after you subtract 'financial services, financial stability, and capital markets' from the equation. And that's before considering how much else of the Economy Portfolio has already been sub- 24 OPINION maltatoday | SUNDAY • 15 SEPTEMBER 2019 Raphael Vassallo Why not a 'Commissioner for Funny Walks' while we're at it?