Issue link: https://maltatoday.uberflip.com/i/679878
maltatoday, SUNDAY, 15 MAY 2016 24 Opinion E ver since Joseph Muscat won the Labour leadership race in 2008, I've been trying to figure out who the heck he reminds me of. There is something about the configuration of his facial features that I've seen somewhere before. Perhaps with a little more in the way of thin reddish curls on top of that shiny domed forehead … at least, more hair than he has left today… and perhaps with some variations to the individual features here and there. But those quizzical blue eyes were familiar. So was his habit of raising his eyebrows, tilting his head backwards, and jutting out his chin when about to speak… with the effect that he ends up looking at his audience directly through his nose, with the whites of his eyes showing above the irises. That's a pose I've often seen before… very Mussolini-like, and therefore (unsurprisingly) very popular with movie stars. In Muscat's case, it also contributes to that trademark look of squeaky-clean innocence and sincerity that has (let's face it) done him so many favours over the years. And those ruddy cheeks, too… just the type of cheeks your grandma would have so dearly loved to pinch… For make no mistake: that ruddiness is not incidental. It's an intrinsic component of 'Brand Joseph'; I suspect he retains an entire army of make-up artists backstage, to ensure that his cheeks always shine with exactly the right lustre when the cameras start rolling… In any case: it's all so familiar. Perhaps not a dead ringer resemblance… but Muscat certainly looks like, or at least reminds me of, someone I know… even though, all these years later, I am still unable to put my finger on precisely whom. . Until a point this week, when I found myself reading an article about an international conference on corruption in London. Joseph Muscat, as we all know, addressed this conference, and my eyes were drawn to the following quote: "I lead a government where one of my ministers was mentioned in the Panama Papers. I had to take tough political decisions. The opposition criticizes me for not being too harsh, but I think I was hard enough. The easy thing to do would be to send someone junior, but I'm here instead to face the music…" I suppose it would have been different had I actually heard him say the words. But reading them in print, I couldn't help but try and imagine how they would sound with different accents. "I had to take tough decisions…" "I was hard enough…" Maybe I watch too many movies, but those lines could easily have been lifted straight from any 1950s mobster film noir. So I went for the Bugs Bunny accent (later borrowed by Humphrey Bogart et al), which is a combination of Brooklyn drawl with typical Bronx abruptness – you know, the combination that pronounces 'girl' as 'goyl', and 'coffee' as 'cor-fee', etc. And hey presto! Suddenly it all fell into place. Now I know exactly where I'd seen those ruddy cheeks and innocent blue eyes before… Nice Guy Eddie, from Quentin Tarantino's 1992 classic Reservoir Dogs (I mean, 'dawgs')! Then, in a f lash, everything made perfect sense. It wasn't merely that I had finally solved a mystery that had literally been driving me bananas for years… but Muscat's entire game plan likewise swam into view with a clarity Raphael Vassallo Think you're a tough guy, huh? It's all so familiar. Perhaps not a dead ringer resemblance... but Muscat certainly looks like, or at least reminds me of, someone I know...